A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi thereCan any of you ladies expain to me where I'm going wrong with women. I'm 32 and find it hard to meet girls, and when I do, I keep failing. Most of my friends are settling down now so my only choice seems to be online dating. I'm geting quite a lot of views from women and the odd wink but when I send them a message they hardly ever reply, I dont get it.The odd occasion when I meet someone online it always seems to go well and then it fizzles out for some reason. A common problem is that I find women tend to avoid telling you that they're not interested by lying and messing me around, e.g say their 'busy but will still like to meet' and then continue to make excuses not to meet untill eventually dont bother texting afer a while. Why do they do that? I constantly hear of women wanting an honest man, so why arent they honest themselves?I have really got a negative view of dating women at the mo beacause of my failings and my experiences.. Can any of you ladies explain why women act like they way I have experienced? and how i can avoid this sort of behavious from them?Thanks in advacne
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female
reader, Nouvelle32  +, writes (24 December 2010):
I have to be completely honest... I've done this before myself. And you know that saying, it's not you it's me? In my case, it really is me, not the guys on match.com. I was recently dumped horribly and am terrified of dating.. so everytime I set a date up, I cancel because I lose my nerve. I have to say that I am a very nice person and I would never intentionally hurt anyone, but after being so hurt by my ex, it's so hard. I want to get back out there and not be alone forever, but at the same time I was hurt so badly that I cannot move forward. It's funny because my ex already has someone new - after 2 years of living together he already has a serious girlfriend and look at me, I was so hurt by what he did that I am the one hiding in the house... how is that even fair? I know I am doing it to myself.. I wish I could feel differently... anyway, all I was trying to say is, that it might not be you.. some women just want to feed their broken egos by dating online, but dating online is not really sexy to me. I can't get past the awkwardness of the whole thing...It seems so much more desirable to meet someone the old fashioned way.
A
female
reader, pixiegirls +, writes (23 December 2010):
 Try not limiting yourself to only online dating sites. Unfortunately, one of the drawbacks for online dating is it does allow for inaccurate or fraudulent profile information, including misrepresented profile pictures. For some, they feel that the anonymity of the internet is a way to conceal their flaws or true intentions. You are putting your faith in the fact that the person is being honest with you. The excuses given to you about being busy, etc., come about because people find it difficult to be honest and tell someone they are just not interested, that they don’t think you have enough in common, or it just won’t work out. It takes time to sometimes figure this out.There are a number of places that you can meet women besides online dating and the bar scene. Several successful meeting places or ideas that have been suggested are:• Enroll in a class in your local community college or community education program. A cooking class, photography, or a hobby you have will have others there who share something in common with you.• If you are interested in books or movies, there are usually book clubs or movie review clubs in local areas that you might join.• Activities: Find out if any local events are coming up that you can attend or an activity event that you are interested in to either attend or participate in.You may also want to try and figure out what may be causing failures for you in relationships. Do you come on too strong? Does there seem to be a problem with communication? Could you be perceived as having low self-confidence?By trying to figure out what the obstacle is and correcting it, you should have a much better chance of meeting and maintaining a relationship. Go over a few of your “failed” relationships. Go through the steps of first meeting or making contact with them, discussions you had and what they were about, and see if you can pinpoint a specific area with the failed relationships or when they happened.
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