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anonymous
writes: Is it possible to recover after your husband has had an affair? Even when he blamed you and got his new woman to shout abuse at you and try to take your childen and career away from you?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (9 February 2005):
 Hi there,Yes, you can recover. You can remind yourself that you're acting with a level of decorum that your husband obviously doesn't have. You can also be secretly pleased that your husband has landed himself a woman who'd stoop to such despicable tactics. In other words, exactly the woman he deserves. Remember, he has to live with that harridan... The "trick" to surviving this is to be proud of your strength and to not rise to any of his or her bait. The other woman's hurled abuse is only a demonstration of what a low person she really is and your non-response will see her get tired of trying soon.You're also going to need someone to unload this on, because I sense that the next weeks and months could be difficult. If you have sympathetic friends, I'm sure that will help, but don't be afraid to enlist the help of a mental health counsellor (usually free or at minimal cost through local government), who will encourage you to vent and suggest better strategies than I can to help you cope with the stress.Your kids are going to learn a lot about dealing with difficult relationships by watching how you handle this extremely unhappy time, so take care of yourself and do all you can to avoid lowering yourself to your husband's level.Take care and I hope this helps.
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