A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for almost a year now, in fact in just a few days. My husband knew someone before he met me, he loved her, but she wouldn't let him be with her. I found out that he's still talking to her, telling her a few times that he loves her and that he still wants her. The last that I know of was back in October or so, but we were already together for a while and had been married for almost half a year. He says he stopped, he says he stopped talking to her, and everything. But how do I know he doesn't want her and I'm just a step in for the time being? He says he doesn't remember talking to her like that, or telling her things, and that he loves her, and that he doesn't remember doing it or why he did it. I would like to know why, but he's not coming forward with anything. What am I supposed to do? I love him too much to leave him, but I can never really trust him again. I need some advice, I have no clue what to do, I just know I don't want to leave him, I love him too much, and I think somewhere in there he loves me too, I just don't know how much or if its enough. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, emerald_reid  +, writes (6 June 2008):
Hi,
I know exactly what you're going through. I've pretty much been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and the whole time he's still been in love with his ex girlfriend. He tells me he love me and wants to be with her, but I feel as though I'm a step in because her parents are quite strict and won't let her be with him, she's only 17. I hate it and hate thinking that he's only with me 'cause he can't be with her.
I can't offer you any advice as I don't even know what to do, I love him to bits, more than he'll ever know but it sucks!!!!!! Soo hard.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): You mention that you don't want to leave him, but you can not trust him! Well, I suggest you have to make a choice....because no marriage can survive without trust. I suggest you decide if you really love him enough and believe him, then stay with him and try to trust him, work on it, because otherwise your lack of trust will destroy your marriage. If you want to make it work, do your best, knowing that he married you and try to forget about her, do not bring her into your life all the time, try not to refer to her to often, in fact not at all, let her be; part of his past.Look at yourself and work on your own insecurities.....be loving, confident and positive about your future with your husband. Move forward!
...............................
A
female
reader, Aylarsh  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 I would say that you should have a sit down with your Husband, because really you don't know what he could be doing. He could still be talking to her and just doesn't want to tell you. Before you do anything rash reasearch her numbers and get his phone bill and see if he is calling her. He's probably embaressed that he still has feelings for her. Hun if worse comes to worse then you will have to leave. You can't have a relationship with something that you can't trust. Do what you can now and if you have to (not saying) then leave him or just take space. He obviously needs to sort out his feelings for you and this other woman.
-Good luck!
...............................
|
