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Broke up with my boyfriend for another guy, but if I ever want him back should I come clean about having phone sex whilst we were still together?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 June 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 17 June 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi...so, about a week ago I had phone sex with one of my good friends. I had wanted to break up with my boyfriend that day but ended up not having the guts, and then this happened. This isn't the first time I've "guy jumped," I tend to jump on another train while the one I'm on is still moving. Needless to say, this does not work out very well for me. The next morning, I called and broke up with the boyfriend. Unfortunately for me, he is one of my best friends and was very understanding (I didn't tell him about the cheating) and I very much want to continue my relationship with him as friends. What I am worried about is if one day I'll want to get back together with him and I will need to tell him what happened. My friends tell me to keep quiet to save his feelings and that the phone sex "wasn't really cheating" because I knew it was over with my boyfriend...but I'm not so sure. Him and I have a very honest relationship and this is the first thing I've ever kept from him...any opinions? Should I tell him, or no?

View related questions: best friend, broke up, get back together, phone sex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2011):

"I tend to jump on another train while the one I'm on is still moving."

There is a reason for this, usually fear of being alone and self esteem issues.

Best thing to do is dump the current guy, spend some time single, completely single, and figure out why you do this. Get some books to read. Learn to get off one train if it isn't going to the destination you want to reach, and then look for a train that is before boarding, stop "train jumping".

Otherwise, no pun intended, you will ride a lot of trains in the next 20 years and never reach any destination.

As counselors say "had a lot of sex and never had any love".

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2011):

Obviously yes. Cheating is cheating no matter how you try to sugar coat it.

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