A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I broke up 3 days ago. We were going out for 2 years! It was sort of a mutual breakup, we both decided we bickered about small things too much, the only difference was that I wanted to work it out and try to fix it and he was stuck in his way and did't agree. We have broken up once before about him going to college and how he didn't think it was going to work. Well after about 2 weeks of me constantly calling, texting, emailing him to try to get him to change his mind... I stopped, and then he contacted me back. We talked for about a month and then got back together. Well we have been great other than the bickering, even though I know it can be fixed! I love this boy to death and I really want him back. I'm NOT sitting around crying and not doing anything. I'm out with friends and always doing something these past 3 days.I want to text him and tell him how much I miss him but I think if I do hes going to expect it and thats what he wants me to do. I can't get him out of my head, and Id really do anything for him to come back.At the end of our breakup conversation, he said that before the summer is over he hopes we can get together for lunch. I don't know what thats supposed to mean, but I told him we'll see what I feel like then. How do I get him to come around and talk to me so we can fix this! I will do anything to get him back! Please help.
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (18 August 2010):
 Okaay. It was a "mutual" breakup just three short days ago and you're already thinking and asking us how to get him back!
He made it clear to you that he thinks it's not going to work; you told him you think the bickering issues can be resolved - and he doesn't think so.
For pete's sake, please, LEAVE IT ALONE!
Sure, you can browbeat him by constantly calling and texting and asking him to reconsider. You can do that. IF you want to come across to him as a pest, and someone who is not willing to recognize his right to say no. To say nothing of being willing to sacrifice your own dignity by seeming desperate.........sorry to be harsh, but you went that route last time, and you got him to return to you only to have it fall apart now.
To put it plainly: you can - and have - state(d) your case for why you feel the issues can be resolved; and he is entitled to listen and decide whether he's prepared to try or not.
He has chosen not. You cannot force someone to agree to something they just don't want to do, you know.
You'd do better to stay cool, continue going out with friends and being busy, and forget him for now. If he said he hopes to get together for lunch before summer's end, wait and see if he phones or emails to set it up.
You did the right thing though in telling him you'd see how you feel about lunch.......
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