A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Long and short of it, I in the naturalist of fashions was attracted to a married guy I work with. He was also attracted to me which was learned my first year of working with him.During that time we had natural 'moments' of 'dreamy' verbal affection with hold-'hug touch', and it turns out what my talents are, are a huge part of him but he cannot do them, so we got chummier, but that was it, nothing EVER 'came' of it; Because though I cannot help my body's Natural Reaction of when we are in eachothers presence,I Can Have Control! I was laid off part of winter, and that was a good thing as it got my mind focused and pretty much the time to work through and realize my last statement! I'm starting to work with him again. First day he saw me he talked about how we need to go get beers soon..How we are going to party again this summer...(amoung other topics of course)..I didn't respond. Just kept working and changed subjects. Last week, we got to talking, he mentioned his wife into coversation and mentioned something that I KNEW but not too many people know about, that could help her out, and ended up offering her to temporily borrow what would work. I won't lie, it sorda hurt my heart a bit to find myself having offered it up, but he took it no problem. Next thing I know he is bringing in this art easel he had always talked about bringing in for my to check out, and a bunch of other things that ARE my talent for me to use a while. Well, of course if your a creative type, you know, you use it every day to toy with the stuff, and then a masterpeice comes of, reagding HIM, now I've decided to bring it all back to him next time we work together, with thankfulness, but I started thinking of him in the old mindset since his stuff is in my house. When i told him, he said no no the stuff has to be used. it's just been sitting around for ages, it needs to be used like a car that dosen't get driven just sits under a cloth. He wants me to keep it longer. It occurred to me, could he have brought all that stuff to try to 'keep it going', and if he was simply being friendly why make me feel I have to keep the stuff longer.???? I dunno, I'm just analysing waht may be up? thanks for input.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2009): I remember you writing in a while back, concerned about re-uniting with your co-worker. I'm glad to hear you worked through your feelings for him...
Yes, you are right you do have control! But you can't control him! So, you have to be strong. And just keep it on a co-worker level. Don't take him up on his offer, to go out for drinks. I think it was a good thing that you offered to help out his wife. It makes you seem to be more of a friend than anything else. You have to keep that appearance alive!
In the meantime, get out and meet other people, so your life is full, and happy!
As far as the equipment he has leant you...don't make it so important. If he doesn't want it back and you are not using it, stick it in the back of a closet and only take it out when needed. Train yourself not to look at it as a symbol of him...just useful tools when needed!
Good Luck!
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