A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am (or was) dating a guy for last 7 months, and last 2 we have not seen each other due to reasons, but stayed in contact and had in plan to meet soon. However he changed his mind...I do not know what is really going on. He is sensitive guy and over 30, lets say mature and was very loving and treating me nice, he also sad he wanted to have family with me..But, he says he can;t deal with anger and he is never angry, but I made him feel like that, and he can;t deal with it. He says he is even afraid of me in situations when I am a bit "arguing"or so. It was never really an argue, it was the way I reacted and scared him off. I really did not mean to hurt him and did not know he can react like that, but jumping out of relationship just because of that? What about trying to deal with situation, talk to me etc? I tried but then if I make even one single mistake, in sense of I react in a bit abusive way then he goes defensive and talking about break up. It hurts to hear break up because of it, when everything else seemed to be fine. I am confused. Should I just let him go? Its painful. I apologized to him, he says there is no need for that ?! I am able to control my reaction, but he can not understand it, all he thinks is about being scared of me reacting again in an "abusive" way. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (6 September 2010):
 Move on. Most likely he has has some past abusive relationships and your outbursts are a trigger to that recollection. He knows what he wants in a relationship and he has the courage to know when something isn't right for him. He was honest with you and was, I think, respectful of you. He isn't saying you are a bad person, just not the right person for him. It is far better that he has come to this decision now rather than later.
People break up for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes we understand and sometimes we don't. When we don't we just have to respect the other's wishes and move on.
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