New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login239612 questions, 1059314 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Boyfriend wants to watch me with other men

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 April 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple years. We are crazy about each other. We get along really well and are very open with our communication.

We share practically everything. For the past year my boyfriend has become consumed with a fetish. He wants to see me have sex with black men or men of darker colored skin. It started out that he had dreams of there being 4 clones of him and they would all have sex with me in his dreams. He shared that with me and it was fun.

SHortly fter a friend of his that happens to be black started telling him about a threesome arrangement he is involved in with a married couple and how great it is and how open and freee it is.

He sends pictures and video clips to my boyfriend. My boyfriend started becoming more and more turned on. We have hashed out all the confused feelings, insecure feelings, the turn ons about it, the fears of it,and anything and everything we thought about this fetish that seems to be consuming all of his sexual fantasies and 99% of our bedroom time.

His friend is coming to visit soon and I am certain that the fantasies have come to a point that he needs more, and I want to fulfill his desires. I do.

I just am not the sexually experienced. He is older than me by a quite a few years. I am curious about the experience. I want to please him, and a lot of times the idea of it really turns me on. I am so scared though that what if it causes a problem and ruins us? He says he loves me so much and he says it won't ruin us, but this man is the love of my life and I want nothing to jeopordize our wonderful relationship. I want to be open minded.

I want to explore, but how do I get over the taboo? How do I get over the fear? I am torn between liking the idea and being totally insecure about it.

Anyone with experience in this area please reply.

View related questions: insecure, threesome

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009):

sorry if bothering but what happened with you and your BF

as your update might help us please

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009):

If there is one ounce of reluctance to do it, DON'T. Do not fool yourself into thinking you'll get over it, you are who you are and you can't pretend to be someone else to please your boyfriend. If you want to try it once, than do so.

But be honest with yourself on whether you liked it or not and be honest with your boyfriend about it too. If you end up not liking it afterward, do not let your boyfriend talk you into doing in again.

And than you will have to ask yourself whether he is really the one or not, because being sexually incompatible is a deal breaker in a relationship and neither one of you is expected to change for the other person.

Just be smart about it, trust your instincts, and don't do anything you truly don't want to.

<-- Rate this answer


Add your answer to the question "Boyfriend wants to watch me with other men"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft