A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last night my boyfriend of 3 years left me.We have had a thing for each other since 4th grade (In 1 year of college now)Out of the blue, We have been going threw some rough times. I just didn't know he would do this to us. He has been planning for it for about 2 weeks (I figured this out when all the pieces came tumbling in after I got the word from him.) he blocked any way of communication to him. His family won't even talk to me. All I wanted to know is Why? I did so much for him, Changed everything. True living with my mother was not at all fun he could have moved out... But to break up with me? We even have each others names on our body (Yes I know stupid but please I can't handle that hatred right now) I can barley sleep, I can't even eat... Before this happen I have already been sick with the flu, So I am now on top of 2 weeks no eating. He has done stuff like this once or twice. But never to this measure. He would tell me he is staying the night at his fathers, He never blocked me off facebook. Talked to me all night. But this time it's different.I feel so hurt and confused, betrayed... I hate this... Can I ever get over this?I have one true friend in all of this, She has been writing him for me. She does not take sides but she does believe I do deserve a why. He keeps saying I do not want to talk to her right now... What does this mean??I don't know what to do, If I did not have my daughter. I could honestly say I would have nothing. I would have probably killed myself. (No worries I won't I love my daughter way to much to do that. Just saying IF) SO I am thankful I have her in so many more reasons.I even slept with her last night to try to help me.
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 You can do this. There will be plenty of times where your own mind will tell you that you want him again, you just have to ignore it because you deserve better things. Do not beg god to let you be together, instead, know in your heart that God will mend your heart by bringing to you, a man who will love you more than any boyfriend could ever love a girlfriend and he shall be a great fatherly figure for your daughter. Just make sure you are yourself. Excercise, eat, be healthy and be happy for that one moment where you realize that you do not need that ex of yours. You are free now to find that perfect man and you are stronger now than you ever were or could have been before.
I hope that helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell thank you everyone. I'm having a rough time. One min I am like "I can do this, I don't need him" Then I break down begging God to let us be together again.
I finally got a reason why, Although everyone agrees that he is the same way. He said I played games, That I am hypocritical, unambitious, and unclean. Which if anyone knew me, They know none of that is true. I have been sick. How can I clean?
I can't stop crying as I type this. I wrote him over and over again. Trying to just make sense of this. He keeps blocking me, I guess there really is no hope for us going out.
I had my daughter sleep with me again last night. It helped a lot. But I haven't even slept since he left... It's so hard when you are use to that person and they are gone... What hurts was that he seems to be happy. I want him to be, but at the same time I don't understand why he is not hurting like I am.
im sorry I just have no where to turn my mother is a trucker and i have no phone to get a hold of her.
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A
female
reader, ohbabycakesxx +, writes (3 October 2010):
First you should get yourself healthy again. Even if you have no appetite, eat. Go out with your friends, don't sit at home and try and over-think it. Be a woman that every man wants and make him realize how wrong he was for walking out on you with no explanation. If you get the chance to talk to him, sure, confront him. But since he's avoiding you, go and live your life and show him that he was wrong.
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A
male
reader, Jeffro1977 +, writes (3 October 2010):
Eat. Go workout and look sexy again, Lose your phone.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (3 October 2010):
If he refuses to give you reason. All you can do is try to move on. It will be hard and you might lose hope countless times but, persevere and time will mend your broken heart. For the sake of your daughter, please keep your strength up. There are countless possibilities from here. You could be a single mother, happy to take care of just you and your daughter, you could meet someone new who will always love you or, your boyfriend can realize that what you two had (the deep love AND your child) and come back to you. Something like this is not so easily forgotten for either of you. What I ask of you will seem strange and impossible but I think it best that you at least try.
Do not lose hope for what you and your boyfriend once had but do not expect him to return. Realize that there is always a chance but also take to heart that it may never occur. You need only carry hope for so long. After a couple of weeks, I think it best that you let go.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, JackieW0719 +, writes (3 October 2010):
 Its a shame that he couldn't at least let you know why he broke up with you rather than just to walk out. I had this happen before. I asked a male friend of mine how could a man do that to a woman and he told me that men hate confrontation (when I use the word here, I simply mean they hate to deal with things like this) and would rather just not say anything. Personally, while I understand what he said, I think that it's the coward's way out.The hurt, betrayal and confusion you feel is quite natural. When a relationship ends, one does need to cope with these feelings and yes mourn as well. Will you get over this, yes, but it will take some time. Allow yourself the time to process and mourn the relationship. You will also have to prepare yourself to accept that you may never receive any answers as to why. Right now, concentrate on your healing and your little girl. Don't ask why anymore. He does not want to talk about it right now and you will get no answers. Take the focus away from him and focus on you.
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