A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are in a serious, committed, relationship. But there is one problem.. he stays in contact with a lot of his exes constantly. I've learn to deal with that, but the big problem is that he NEVER tells them about me. For example, if we went on vacation, he will use "I", not "we". Or if we checked out a new resaturant, it's always "I". I don't even know if these girls know he is in a relationship or not!! When I ask him about it, he says that they don't need to know about his personal life... And now he's gone as far as deleting messages. When I question him about that, he just says he likes to clear things every now and then. So he leaves no evidence of anything ...
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): Dissociation is never good news baby. To withhold relationship status from exes is shady business, and from what you have described, this sounds like a shady character. It would not sound unreasonable to me if you ask him to divulge his relationship status to everyone- including his exes (casually of course...there is no need to push further into a defensive stance someone whose behavior is already questionable.)
A
male
reader, A Man +, writes (7 April 2010):
This behavior seems suspicious to me as well. I'm always more than happy to tell my exes I have a new girlfriend :)
Although, I'm never too keen on talking about my exes to my current girlfriend. They always want to know really silly stuff about my past relationships, so I just say it was the past and don't talk about it.
He might feel like your prying into his past and thats why he delete's things so you don't see his personal stuff.
However, his not telling his exes or "friends" as he may call them, that they don't need to know about you, it makes me wonder. It's very possible he's planning on leaving you. Tell him to be more honest with you and your exes, or tell him to hit the road.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 April 2010):
No, he doesn't does he. Which means there is a high chance that he's keeping his options open. Which means there's a high chance this won't work out. If you can handle being just a 'partner' to this guy, then you'll be fine. But if you're looking for something truly committed, you need to look elsewhere.
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