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Body Language: Is It Really Reliable?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 April 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2011)
A female Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Okay, so to keep this short, essentially there's this man I'm crushing on, hard...And I think he likes me too because I've done some reading up on male body language, like stuff guys do when they're interested in a girl, and he does almost everything. The thing is though, is that we've only spoken twice, and the first time was very brief. However, from the first time, I know we have quite a bit in common. It went well when we spoke the second time, like, he was leaning in to listen to me (but the room was really loud so?) and he was facing me completely, but still, I'm not sure.

The only real basis I have for thinking he likes me is his body language. Things like staring, walking close to me, pointing his body towards me, etc. So, I guess, I'm just wondering, guys (and girls, opinions are welcome), how reliable would you say body language is? And what sorts of things do you do, nonverbally, when you like a girl? I'm interested in this in general as well, not just in how it pertains to me.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (22 April 2011):

Jmtmj agony auntI wouldn't really say its all that reliable because it kinda relies on personal perception. Meaning that everyone can have a different interpretation of it and sometimes we see what we want to see.

The first thing to look for is a base-line of behavior, so for example, how do they act when they're around other people but don't know you're around. Then if you come into their eyesight and they start acting very differently to how they were ten seconds ago, something could be up. Whether that's attraction causing the body language change or something entirely different, again, comes down to personal interpretation.

I read a book on this last year, something written by a CIA or FBI interrogator, forget the title, but from what he said, the most important thing to watch was peoples feet. Where they're pointing is "supposedly" the most notable body language behavior, after all, eyes can move incredibly fast and we're incredibly aware of who sees what/who we're looking at. Feet on the other hand are not easy to shift quickly as they're supporting our body weight most of the time and not really something we think will give away how we're feeling to anyone. I'm inclined to agree with him on that point.

It is a really interesting topic and even if it ain't reliable, its still good fun to observe friends, family and randoms interacting with others and watching all these body language traits changing whilst giving you little hints as to whats going on with the dynamic.

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A male reader, sroper70 Australia +, writes (22 April 2011):

sroper70 agony auntI heard somewhere that you should not take body language or the words being spoken in isolation. I would therefore draw you own conclusions from a combination of the two.

In saying that if there is a good combination of positive body language signals (as opposed to just one or two), I think you're pretty safe in assuming he does like you.

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