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Bf wants his space and is reluctant for us to live together because he thinks we're too dependent on eachother. Any thoughts?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 January 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 January 2007)
A female Canada, anonymous writes:

HI! My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 months and we moved in together about a year ago, Jan 2006. It was he who suggested it. After a few months, in April, he and I thought we should move out and live separately because we'd been fighting too much. However, when it came to it, he still wanted us to live together, so we did, we signed a lease until Aug 07.

But about a month ago, he again said he thinks we should move out. I asked him to tell me his real reasons why about two days back and he said we we're getting too dependent on each other. We get along great now, we hardly fight and we understand each other very well. He had problems doing well in university and i helped him out and took care of his studies and all that and still do. But he thinks we should move out, and when i said that i thought it was because he wanted his space coz he thought there was some things he couldn't do coz we live together n stuff, he was like yea, that's right too, i need to enjoy life more and spend more time with my friends and all that.

I tried telling him that i do not stop him from doing anythin and he said yes, but there are things we both don't do coz we're living together, and getting too dependent on each other...

I'm not sure what to think of all this..we're both in our early 20s and am wondering if he's looking to keep options open or distance himself from me in some way or something like that. we both know that i finish university april 08 (He'll take another couple of years to be done) and after i'm done we won't even be in the same city anymore. i thought we could at least stay together and be with each otehr as much as possible until then.

View related questions: moved in, university

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A female reader, ingotblue United Kingdom +, writes (18 January 2007):

ingotblue agony auntMaybe he is afraid that you will find someone else when he leaves?

Maybe hes scared of the whole commitment thing, it sounds a little more deep seated that just "was some things he couldn't do coz we live together n stuff"

Maybe take some time out and go out with your friends, spend a little time part though still living together. see how that goes.

but you needt to find out what is really bugging him.

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A female reader, castingkara United States +, writes (18 January 2007):

Dear Writer,

I cast for a show for a major network and your situation sounds like those that we address on the show. We help people in making these kind of big decisions and announcements and it sounds like this is exactly what you and your bf need. I think the show could definitely help out. If you are interested in hearing more details, you should email me asap at [email address blocked].

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