| A ,
*
writes: My boyfriend has been gone away at the Air Force for about two and a half weeks now, and I feel like I can't take the waiting anymore. It's making me crazy to be without him. Today I came home and I glanced at a picture of us I have hanging on my wall that I see all the time, and I just starting sobbing. It really came from nowhere. I just miss him so much and I want so badly to be with him again. I don't even know what to do. I'm at a stand-still.I have told my boyfriend in a letter that I would like to marry him in the fall after he gets stationed somewhere. We already had plans to marry in a year or two, but I simply do not want to wait longer than I must. Right now, he is not allowed to send or recieve any letters yet, so I'm just sitting here, waiting and waiting for a response from him. It's like I'm paralyzed. My parents know that I want to marry my boyfriend as soon as possible, and although I'm only just about to turn 19, they're okay with it as long as my boyfriend asks permission from my dad first. It's also very improtant to them that I go to college and get an education when I go to live with my boyfriend. They're worried that he might get stationed somewhere where they don't have good schools, or any schools.I, however, am worried about my boyfriend. I think about him all the time, hoping and praying he's doing okay. I can't even type that without getting teary-eyed. I miss him so much, and I feel like there's nothing I can do. I have to go so long before I can even hear from him in a letter, and it's just so hard. I love him to death, and I will wait for him, but the waiting is just killing me. I don't know what I can do to make it easier. No matter how much I distract myself, I always get sad. I don't know what to do. This is really breaking my heart.If anyone has any helpful advice, I would really appreciate it. I know my question is not much of a question and is pretty vague, but I'm looking for any help one can offer. Thanks. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2006): hi just read your letter, i was in the marines for five years and i understand exactly what you are both going through, i met my girlfriend a year into the royal marines when i was home on leave. we were madly in love and got engaged a year later, it was awfull being without her, and as you say staying in touch through letters,but i must say the truest thing ever said is that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and it sure does.
it sounds like he is still in his training phase, when he passes out of training it will be totally diffrent, he should be home most weekends, and will have 3 leave blocks per year, my advice, when ever you have time, go on hoiladay just the two of you, and spend quailty time toghether, in the futre he can specialise in to a trade in the raf, and you can both live toghether off base,just like a 9-5 job{that is what my cousin does).
my new girlfriend of 4 months is a airline hostess,and she travells all over and i hardly see her, in the last five weeks i have seen her for seven days,and it is killing me, i feel like you must, like your waiting for them to come home to you, she comes home in two weeks and we have booked a hoiladay so that should be good. hang in there and be strong, hope its helped. if you want to get in touch [email address blocked] . all the best, take care
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to those who've responded to my question. I appreciate the feedback. I recieved a letter from my boyfriend today. It sounds like he is much worse off than me. He says he cries every time he is alone and misses me so much. He says he wants to propose to me the next time he sees me. I am very worried about him. I don't want him to sit and worry about what I'm up to. He needs to focus on himself and do well in boot camp. I wish I could make this easier for him, but I know there isn't much I can do for him from here. When is a good time to marry anyway? It seems like no time is particularily ideal. I'm worried and confused.
...............................
A
male
reader, juttandmeff  +, writes (30 April 2006):
Just a word of caution to all the advice. I was in the USAF stationed at Offutt AFB, and then in the British Merchant Navy, sailing all over the world. It is very easy when we are separated from loved ones to build in our minds an unrealistic picture of how they really are: the good bits become amplified in our mind, while the negatives of any relationship seem to melt away in our memories.
I think he's very lucky to have you, and that you are missing him so much. I'd just be careful to keep a sense of balance, otherwise his return could prove to be an anti-climax because he can't match the idealised vision of him you've built up in his absence.
That said, I can't disagree with the advice already given: you need to keep busy and distract yourself while he's not there. I doubt whether its possible to make the ache of separation disappear completely, but it eventually becomes bearable, however unlikely that may sound now. It does get better, believe me!
...............................
A
female
reader, Danielle934 +, writes (29 April 2006):
 That’s right the key is to keep yourself busy. You HAVE to learn how to cope with this! Getting married will not solve all your problems either... sure you will be together if he is stationed in the United States, but you have to realize that someone who is enrolled in the Air Force HAS to be deployed at least once in their career, which means that you will be apart again in the future, it might be for a few months, it might be a little over a year, it just depends on where he is deployed to. I think I have told you before about how my husband is in the Air Force in your last post. He is stationed at Offutt base in Nebraska. A person can not be deployed until there have completed their CDC's... my husband's time to be deployed could come anytime after this next month (that’s when he finishes his CDC’s). It scares me to know that soon I could possibly be apart from him for around a year, but I know I will be hurt... but okay, and as long as I keep myself busy the time will soon fly and he will be back again. It does no good to focus on how upset you are from being apart from him; all it does is make you even more upset! You have to be strong; do you think your man will get comfort in knowing how miserable you are without him? NO, it will only make things harder on him. So when you write him let him know he is loved and missed, but mostly try to write happy thoughts only. It has only been a year since I have been in your shoes so I know the pain you are going through. Are you at all close to his family? I was pretty close with my husband’s family and I found that visiting them while he was gone helped to ease the pain. Also hanging out with friends helps too. I guess the main thing is to keep yourself busy and keep yourself around others… even if you are sad and crying DO NOT let yourself be alone! Crying in front of friends and loved ones really does help… even if they don’t fully understand what you are going through, it is always nice to receive a big hug. And if you find no one to be around then you can write me, I don’t mind at all, I love helping others and have a lot of free time on my hands. You can YAHOO message me at danielle934 if you want to talk or if you want to know anything about being married to someone in the Air Force (I usually always have it on).
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2006): right. ..... get yourself a hobbie join a club hang out with your girlfreinds this is the best thing to do, just have fun and when you do get that o so special letter from your boyfriend then you wil read it once, look at it for a second and then put it away with the rest of the letters and never read it again ask him to send a picture i sure they will have a camrea out there where ever his is. Just try to keep yourself busy to take yur mind of him, boys dont like it when they are being chased around or haveing alot of fuss over them they want to be independent and free:) ok so just realx and have so fun good luck dont worry xxxxx meow xxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2006): You have to keep yourself busy, girl. Focus on school, friends etc.. You cannot sit there pining for your boyfriend to come home. Even If you do get married isn,t the situauion going to be the same, still? You have got to find a way to get out of this doldrum. your boyfriend won't be pleased to hear you pining away like this. He is getting on in his career, what are you doing?
...............................
|
