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Been out of the dating game for a while -- how do I approach her?

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Question - (12 January 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 January 2011)
A male Canada age 41-50, *usten007 writes:

Im in a bit of a pickle i seek wisdom help! So here is my situation i was in a relationship for 4 years and then it abruptly ended (she broke up with me) now we always had a good connection no one ever cheated but she would hint at her suspicions of me cheatin whicg i never did anywho long story short were still friends and judging by the ammount of times she calls me now it appears like she still likes me but i feel since she broke up wit me she lost her chance she broke my heart tough beans.. Almost a year later ive changed my life around i see this girl who has caught my eye and ive been thinkin bout her cause she so sexy but im all rusty and i get all nervous but i see her always givin a glance in my direction i ll glance back but its like im a teenager all over again. The place i always see her is in the mornings at a coffee shop by the train station and it always crowded so it seems almost impossible but i know that seems like an excuse i dont know how to approach her now without seemin all creepy lol how do i strike up the convo ahhh! Please honest suggestions are wanted.... Thanks , rusty

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011):

If it's possible, next time you see her and you glance at each other, smile. A small thing, but it is a 'recognition'. And smile every time you see her and perhaps say hi. Take it from there.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011):

I've been in a similar situation with someone who I kept bumping into on my daily routine. It took me 6 months to get the courage to finally talk to him.

Things he did that were encouraging:

-smile when making eye contact.

-wave at her or nod at her, some small physical gesture of saying hello when she looks at you the next time.

-If you do get close enough to her, do say "hello" or "good morning".

-Compliment her. A particularly good line (I have been a sucker for this one) is to tell her "I see you here every morning, but I just wanted to tell you that you look really beautiful today."

Then walk away. You are not being creepy because you haven't asked her for anything. If she's at all curious, she will find an excuse to talk to you again.

Sometimes this sort of anticipation is the best part of the relationship...just reading your post really makes me miss it. Just go slow and strech it out. Don't rush to get her number. Good luck!

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A female reader, LeahVictoria  United Kingdom +, writes (12 January 2011):

I'm not surprised you feel like your ex has lost her chance. Obviously you both still care for one another and it doesn't seem that the relationship ended that badly. But if that relationship is finished and now, no going back, it's time to move on.

This has kind of happened to me, you like someone from afar, but how the hell do you make it known. It may not work but should you stay the same?

It's important to be yourself. Maybe offer her to buy her coffee. Then if she seems interested pass on your name and number.

Guys have come up to me and have asked me out randomly. Its not creepy but you will know if she's interested straight awaay.

Good luck!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011):

Well, there's not much you can do but the obvious. Since she is glancing back at you means she could be interested. Majority of sexy girls like myself don't ask guys out we may just hint we like you with a glance. Approach her kindly and say "hey i always see you around,how are you doing?" Then just ask her name. Just make small talk and if she seems interested ask her her digits and say you think she's beautiful and ud like to take her out sometime. Just be a gentleman.

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