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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi all..okies... i have recently been chattin to a really nice guy who i met on the internet via my holiday discussion board. Since we have been chattin for the last few weeks we've discovered that we have loads in common. The trouble is we seem to get on so well but im worried that once he meets me he wont want to continue or take it further. Im not like most 21 year olds, im slightly overweight and all my friends are really pretty. Everytime we go out its me that ends up on my own. I like him and if we do meet up in town whilst out with friends how can i get him to see past my weight. It happens all the time with men, ive never had a serious bf before and dont want to lose out once again. He's really good looking from what i have seen as well. Any ideas?
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (27 January 2006):
 Send him a picture of yourself. You mentioned that you have seen what he looks like. It's only fair to give him the same privilege. I don't want to play Devil's Advocate but well, if he was unattractive by your standards, would you still be chatting with him? Better to chance it online than wait and do it in person. Best of luck to you!
A
female
reader, loni +, writes (26 January 2006):
I say if you really like this guy and are worried about being rejected once again then you need to start making changes in diet and exercise, not just because of this guy, but you obviously are self concious about being over weight yourself, and then you will feel more confident, plus even though people say it's not right to judge people based one there weight, people are people and we judge,but my best honest advise is do it for youself and you will feel better about you.
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female
reader, liveinabox +, writes (25 January 2006):
 It's clear that you are getting on really well with this guy. If he's anywhere near as great as he seems then he shouldn't have an issue with size.
However, I know 21 year old guys & I know what it's like trying to impress them. I have found that the best way to impress a guy is to be yourself. But with added confidence. I know that's easier said than done but if you act confident then people will think that you are. Even if you are shaking on the inside act as though you are as confortable as you can be.
Meet him. You are only going to beat yourself up with what ifs if you don't.
& if he has a problem with your size then he is not worth the heartache. Anyone who is worth this much strife would never cause it.
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (25 January 2006):
 One of the virtues of meeting online is that you often get to know the person before you know what they look like. Thus you avoid the snap judgments that people make based on looks if, for example, you happen to meet in a club.
I don't know if you feel comfortable with this but maybe it is worth a try. Show him pictures of the holiday you had with you in and go from there. At least then you have got the comfort of knowing he knows what you look like. However, even if you don't then I would suggest that one big thing you could work on is your confidence. Confidence is amazingly sexy and attractive to men.
I have known women that you would no doubt consider like yourself as being 'slightly oveweight' but have had great success attracting guys because they exhude confidence. You are fine as you are and if this guy can't appreciate you for who you are as a person then he is not worth your heartache and effort. Hope that helps :).
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A
female
reader, b-Rit +, writes (25 January 2006):
 Hey! Don't worry about it meet with him and hang out! If he is as nice as he seems he wont care about your weight! Show him who you are have fun with him. Show him that you have confidence guys love girls that are confident, and he will see what a totally amazing girl you are! If you are really gun hoe on bringing a friend then you should bring one that you dont feel threatened by maybe one that is in a seroius relasionship so that way you wont have to worry about it!...Just think if this guy is interested enough to meet you and you two have already got to know each other...he came to meet with you after all! the best advice i can give u is just be confident!!!! good luck!
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