A
male
age
18-21,
*tew18
writes:My girlfriend and I have been dating for 11 months now and now I'm in college. We're staying together because we really do love each other. I find myself staying home and waiting for a call from her when she promised she would. For example, there was a football game today and she said she would call me so i stayed home. Everyone went... I'm afraid im starting to become a little to obsessed with her. Sometimes I think i'm the only one making compromises and I just want her to keep me updated... I know that i need to stop worrying so much when she doesn't call me but I ALWAYS text her first. I need to stop. Someone help plz...
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male
reader, Stew18 +, writes (14 September 2009):
Stew18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for the responses! I've told her my worries and stuff and she agreed that I was completely right. She said she would try to change and i know it's not going to happen overnight but i can already see some improvements. Thanks so much for the advice to go out and enjoy myself as well. It's made it quite a bit easier to not think about her all the time (even if i do) and makes me worry less. GRACIAS!
A
female
reader, alysha  + ♥, writes (13 September 2009):
 Hi,
There are two Golden Words in an LDR-COMMUNICATION and TRUST.
Long distance relationships or LDRs become successful only when you trust each other and communicate with each other.
If you have any doubt then talk to her.Whatever you have written here,tell her exactly the same thing.
In any relationship,especially LDR,any doubt should be cleared.Unnecessary doubts, insecurities and tensions can ruin or spoil your relationship forever.
Don't make assumptions, and always be very clear about your relationship. Never assume your partner will be knowing your feelings without you sharing with him/her. Good or bad, share what you feel about the relationship.
Share your fears,thoughts and feelings with your partner, as this may encourage him/her to share something deeper with you also. Hence, assumptions ruin relationships, while clear communication helps them succeed.
If you cancel events to be able to talk to her.You really want to be with her.She is very lucky that you give her priority.It also means that relationship means a lot to you and you want it survive and get stronger.
Lot of people are involved in LDRs and have loving,beautiful and long lasting relationships.People in LDRs even end up getting married to each other.
It can definitely work if you love, trust, respect your partner,and have a pure desire to be with each other.
Call her.Talk to her,tell her your fears,doubts,insecurities.Then let her speak.You just listen to her.Don't interrupt her and don't give suggestions.Let her make her thoughts verbal.Just listen.
Decide when you can have free time to talk to each other.Make sure nothing interferes when you settle on a date and time.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): She will lose respect for you if you keep doing this and then if ever you break up, she will have no problems moving on in her life because she is enjoying her life.Meet people, spend time with your friends, find interesting things to do. Hang out with other girls, by all means remain faithful to her and make time for her, but just enjoy yourself first and foremost. You are far to young and the relationship is far to short to make such big sacrifices for each other.I was in a 6 year relationship which was long distance for almost 2. Take this from someone who did exactly what you are doing and while I've learnt greatly from my mistake, it was a very difficult period after the break up. I neglected everyone for her, she didn't do the same for me.Guess who got hurt the hardest when the relationship ended.Hint: Not her.Don't sacrifice your life for her. Live your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): If you and your girlfriend weren't in a LDR (you could see her everyday) and she asked you if you wanted to hang out with her, would you have ditch the football to go and see her? I think you would have. It's totally normal to want to spend time with your girlfriend.
LDR are hard especially if you are used to spending all of your time with soemone. My b/f went away for 3 months and I hated it. The only thing that got me through was knowing he was coming back soon and we could have a normal relationship.
I'm guessing that if you are college you might be in LDR for a few years. Personally I don't think I could do that. I would maybe consider taking it in turns to call each other at a specific time each day (naybe before college)that way you can plan your life around the LDR a little easier.
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A
female
reader, britt429  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 Although I am guite a bit older and should be quite a bit wiser...I know how you are feeling. It is always me who contacts my LDR...well at least 95% of the time. It causes feelings of doubt. I know! Sometimes I force myself to Not Contact just to see if he will...and he always does! Thankfully!If you feel that this is a one-sided relationship perhaps you should back off, and wait to see her reaction. You may be missing so much of the college experience...try to get a little balance in your life....make time for it all. Don't just sit there waiting for a phone call that may not come or an online msg that doesn't happen. Keep all your options open!Good Luck,~Britt~
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