A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. We been fighting a lot lately and he claims to be tired of me...but we love each other too much to break up. He use to be my escape from my problems and stress. He use to make me feel better and happy. Now he doesn't. I really believe he can become all I ever needed again and I am waiting. What can I do? How can I find something to help me realese stesss now? I don't know what to do please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (26 July 2009):
 you cannot expect someone else to take the stress away from your life.
this isnt fair.
dont expect someone else to remove your stress, you need to give & take in a relationship.
if you want this relationship to last you need to give to him back, & you need to make him happy also.
to relieve stress try removing yourself from the situation, take up excersise, eat healthy, read self help books, meditate, think positive, there are many things you can do to improve your focus.
you can google all of the above to gain more info.
good luck!
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (25 July 2009):
 Sweetheart you cannot use someone else to relieve your stresses in life, that is using someone as your crutch and people are not around for that.
You have to make yourself strong enough to deal with your own stresses.
If you are fighting a lot lately then there are obviously things that are either wrong in your relationship or one or both of you have outside issues that you are bringing to the relationship.
You need to release and there are different ways in which you can do that. Exercise is one way - this could be swimming, working out in the gym, cycling or meditation and learning how to do that effectively, (never learnt that myself, always wanted to), however listening to calming music or relaxation CD's after a nice relaxing bath can be good. A damn good massage by a good masseur depending on if you can afford that. Perhaps going to a dance class such as salsa or something, doing things outside of your relationship so that you both have things to talk about when you get together.
Having some fun like going bowling, swimming etc - doing something different. Don't always be predictable. Arguing all the time does put a huge strain on any relationship and so you need to both talk calmly and constructively and tell each other that you are not going to keep on hurting each other in this way. Perhaps arranging a nice meal whether it is a take away and a DVD at home, taking time out to talk to one another, the best way is to agree that one person talks for 5 - 10 minutes whilst the other person listens, (no interruptions at all), then the other person has their turn. This is a technique used by counsellors or a couple counsellor in my case and believe me it works. We tend to talk over the other person especially when we don't like what the other person has to say or we try to defend our own actions.
Hope some of the above helps OK.
BFN
Country Woman
x
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