A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend of 5 yrs whom I live with, I also have a friend that I met around the same time. I chose my boyfriend because of the stability he provides me with, but honestly I don't love him. If he did not take care of me I would not be with him. I have slept with the other guy on many occassions with no strings attached. Now the other guy has started saying he wants to be with me; he wants us to be together. I'm scared of leaving my stable home for an unknown future. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Your b/f is a good provider while the other is a great lover.
How good it would be if you can have both those qualities in a man !
Unfortunately for you , you will need to choose which is more important to you, financial security or love ?
If you are scared of the unknowns , then you should choose financial security and try to improve your relationship with your b/f.
If you choose love, you maybe happier and more contented and the other things would not count as love is more than enough to offset those material things.
Marrying for love or money ?
http://laura1318.wordpress.com/2009/06/01/marrying-for-money/
A
female
reader, Hard_decision  +, writes (17 March 2010):
Well your just "using" your current boyfriend for the stability he provides you... Im sure if he knew that you were just with him because he supports you he would kick you out, and even more so after finding out your cheating on him. Have some respect for him and just break up with him, no body wants to be used and your very selfish. Make your own stability in your life that way you can find someone who you can love without other decisions as to why you are with them. Your a adult, you should be able to look after yourself and not depend on others sorry.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): I don't judge a lady on moral grounds because she has sex. It's only natrual. You however are being horrible. If you are with someone just for the stability they provide you then you aren't being any different than a common prostitute. Does the man you are with know that you don't love him and that you are in fact only using him? Men have emotional needs just like women. If you don't love him you should leave him whether or not you decide to go with the other guy doesn't even matter. Let the poor man you've been with be free to find someone that actually loves him. As for the other guy. You should definately give it a shot.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (17 March 2010):
 I would leave.
I would become self-sufficient.
In order to get what we want, to be in love, we have to work.
Do you really want to not be happy and in love, because you don't want to be steadily employed.
The unknown road is the exciting thing. You are unhappy after taking this road for 5 years.
Perhaps the unknown is not such a bad thing?
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (17 March 2010):
 see if the other guy really means he wanna be with you.
it will take some time :-) for now,appear that ur not willing to leave ur bf.
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A
female
reader, asshlleyyy +, writes (17 March 2010):
you shouldn't be with someone for the material objects they provide, you should be with someone because you love them. maybe something is lacking in the relationship with the first guy - maybe thats why you are looking outside of it for someone else to fill the void. maybe try figuring out what is missing with him before you try the uncertainty of someone else. and if love is really not there, then it would be best to move out and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): look, what you are doing is totally evil. Not the cheating but your attitude towards your current boyfriend. You are using him. It is disgusting. What goes around comes around. If you go with this other guy, soon he will see your true character and ditch you, and then your other boyfriend won't want you back.
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