A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What would you suggest in this situation:My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 years. We are both deeply unsatisfied with the relationship but have seem to have trouble letting go. According to him, the biggest problems are the lack of sex and our arguments. He says that the fact that we don't have sex often is because I don't want him. However, I don't usually feel like having sex because I'm unhappy with the relationship. I'm unhappy with the relationship because I don't feel like he loves me anymore (he says he still does but he doesn't really do anything to show it. He says that even if he tries to be romantic or affectionate, he doesn't get sex, so there's no point). My feelings for him have been decreasing steadily over time, to the point where I don't think I really love him anymore. For some reason, I actually want to love him again, and I don't know why I can't let go of this relationship even though every person I've spoken to said that it's over and it's far easier to meet someone new. I just want to know at what point do you give up on a relationship? How do you know that it's over and nothing will ever bring it back to life again? Also - can feelings lost ever come back? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (26 November 2010):
 "He says that even if he tries to be romantic or affectionate, he doesn't get sex, so there's no point)"
Oh boy. So the only reason to be close to someone is get laid? Doesn't that say a LOT about how he views this relationship?
At what point do you give up on a relationship? When it starts feeling more like work then love. But people are often hesistant to call it quits because they feel comitted. That they invested so much already that it would be a waste to end it all. If you look hard at your relationship and are only sticking with it because you don't want to start another one or be alone, then you are staying for the wrong reasons.
What do you really feel about the relationship and him?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): Well, in truth , you never know unless you try , so if he won't , you should try and patch things up. or leave it alone. if he doesn't try and make things better then why should you ? if he truley does love you , then yes I do believe there can be love again , but if the feeling is not mutual then you should try and find out why and what made it fall out of place .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): Everyone you ask seems to say its time to move on and they are in a position to know. You are young and this relationship as run its course. You still have feelings for him and probably always will to some extent.It would be nice if you could breath life back into a relationship that you have outgrown but its not going to happen. I think you are afraid of the unknown, but that's life and you have to give yourself a chance to meet someone new. As friends have given you advice I think you should listen to them, they have your best interests at heart I am sure.
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A
male
reader, ljhenhmla  +, writes (26 November 2010):
what exactly are you look for him to do to show you that he loves you. i think you both have to sit down and discuss what the real issues are. you have to make yourself happy. i was i a relationship where i gave and gave an got nothing in return. and that make me very unhappy. so if it not getting any better its best to move on. but remember the grass in not always greener on the other side.
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