A
female
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anonymous
writes:How do other women feel when their man has to work one-on-one with a cute, much younger female who is single and looking for a bit of adventure? This was never a problem with my previous mate, as he really didn't work around women, and was so introverted socially it was never a problem. But my current b/f says I'm paranoid about other women, which is not true. Most of the gals he works with are no problem because they're married and a bit homely and just nice ladies, not a threat. But every now and then he mentors college students and other young women in his work field, and it always does a number on my head. Is it normal for me to feel uncomfortable like this? It's not that I don't trust him, but he's a man -- come on, most men can only handle so much temptation before they crater! And it's not really my b/f's motive that I'm concerned about, but some of these students he mentors, seem like they're just looking for a romp with someone and he's friendly, cute, social and fun to be around. I just don't know how to silence the whistles and bells that go off in my head when he has to travel with one of them, or spend a day out in the field miles away from everyone else for hours, but I don't want to ruin our relationship either. How do other women deal with this? Or are we all kind of like this? I've always heard women tend to be territorial by nature, and don't like having other women get too close to their men. I need some advise please before I blow it!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): just have to trust him thats the key to it.
if there is no trust basically there is no relationship
if he has to go away with them, then let him do it, its not as if its for his own fun, sounds more like business.
you cant make a decision on this because if you confront them then they will know you dont trust him, therfore you just have to make sure you have the evidence to back up your argument other wise it may turn out nasty anyway
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I know he's not really 'encouraging' them, but his overly friendly nature has made some of them misunderstand his intentions. I would never say anything to them, or cause a scene. Why give them the satisfaction of thinking I'm worried? But underneath my confident exterior, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable with him being alone with them from time to time. It's hard to discuss with him because he's hot-headed and gets mad about it easily, makes me feel like it's all my problem and I should just deal with it and not involve him but that's not really fair in my opinion. He could ask another employee to accompany him on these field trips, but he doesn't so it leaves him wide open for anything that might come up when they're alone. I just think women tend to be territorial and feel jealous when they're threatened but he thinks it's just me. Thanks for your help. :-)
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A
female
reader, Seratuki  +, writes (27 October 2007):
 Okay...
I'm exactly the same...but it's a catch 22...you can't fault him for being all the wonderful things you said he is, because obviously thats what attracted you to him in the first place...
However, I learned from my experiences with my BF that just because other women may be interested does not mean that the guy is!!
I've had women stare at my BF when we're out in public, whisper, giggle...the whole 9 yards...but you need to try to remember that he is with YOU and not them, so obviously he sees something in you that he wants, and they don't have it!!!!!
I know how hard it is, because TBH sometimes I want to cause a scene and ask those women what they think they're doing...LOL...
But your man will appricate and respect you more if you show self confidence and trust in him. Take things slowly, trust doesn't come over-night, but talk to him if he is doing something to make these girls want him, flirting back, ect...
He can't stop them, but he doesnt have to encourage them eather. :)
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