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andy20
writes: Be honest, Do most girls love a bastard? Is it sexy or a turn on? I know that doormats aren't sexy but they usually treat their woman right. A guy who is a bastard and keeps to the 'treat em mean keep em keen' regime usually gets on all right in the relationship world where the girl is always fighting for his love and respect. Nice guys are boring are they not? I mean girls are meant to be the romantic sex, going weak at the knees at flowers and gifts etc but they end up dumping the guy because hes tooo nice and it gets boring.What is everyone elses view? Particulary the females..
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male
reader, andy20 +, writes (27 June 2006):
andy20 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey people thanks for the replies. The reason I ask is because ive been considered a bad lad and Im trying to change incase my girl ends up hating me because I like her alot and dont really want to lose her. She tells me countless times that she loves me but im not sure if i feel the same way. Love is a very strong emotion and theres a difference between love and having feelings for someone.(i think). Im worried that im hurting her by not giving her the attention she deserves since shes a very pretty but 'soft' girl. She couldnt tell me what to do if you get what I mean lol. I hate relationships! But i like her!
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male
reader, dr doom +, writes (26 June 2006):
 There are two types of men :nice guys -they turn into gays,wife beaters or porn addicts.And bad boys -They have the biggest hearts and the only way to hide there emotions is to act like a bad boy.As for 'treating them mean to keep them keen'its a myth, all women like to know that they are the queen bitch.
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female
reader, pepper  +, writes (26 June 2006):
Well ...i guess everybody is right and have their own opinion. I have to say, there is that age element as well though. I always use to get attracted to older boys or older men who are more experienced. When i was 18 ...i saw things with different eyes, i was very gullible, more vulnerable....sweet and innocent...and very shy. So the guys i felt more comfortable with, usually were of similar frequency. I am 27 now and over the years i have grown to be a strong and confident myself. Now i see men with completely different eyes...i like men who are honest, courteous, family orientated with good skills (usually some kind of profession) and themselves have grown up and are mature and strong enough to face up life with different angles....and of course confident. Not necessarily, men who have these traits are all bastards. May be, they were at one stage... as they were having fun at that point....but most of them do grow out of it and settle down as nice men who make lovely husbands and lovely daddy's (ahhh !!! bless them). It depends what stage of their lives do you see them(am i wrong guys!!!).
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female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (26 June 2006):
 A familiar question came up on this site back in early June and I am going to give you the answer I told this other young man. I really think, the biggest reason many women never choose the 'nice guy' is mainly due to her own lack of maturity, self-confidence and discernment in choosing a man, who they want to have a future with. I agree with Bev, a lot of women who date bad boys are naive. To many of these women, the bad boys seem brash and desirable when they're too immature to recognize that these 'bad boys' make lousy husbands, fathers and life partners. Some of these women need to learn to discern that true love entails respect, honor and trust. It takes some of them many tortuous years of dating bad guys to realize this which is sad because she really believes her bad boy's big, monumental personality change, is just around the corner. Meanwhile, she keeps allowing him wipe his boots off, on her..over and over again. There's nothing wrong with the nice guy-it's likely this nice guy has just has been meeting a lot of women who simply...like to date jerks My recommendation to you...hold out for the right girl and don't change who you are. You will recognize her when you meet her. If a woman won't date you because you are nice, then it's her loss. Move on to the next one.
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female
reader, ariel  + ♥, writes (26 June 2006):
 PS: I would not like a person treating me mean to keep me keen.I'd lose interest.I think that whole mean thing only works in the movies.
Be yourself that way you don't slip up .
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Just be yourself. We look for whats underneath and what special qualities the individual has. Dont go trying to be what woman want as that will never happen, We are so varied and changeable that you could never say what attracts us to one particular guy. No two people will ever feel the same about someone. Be yourself, dont go trying to be what you think they want as its never going to happen. We want the real person, the true being, the one that can bare his soul and not be afraid of doing so. be happy in your own skin we will seek out how we are attracted to by what we see and how you are, not how you try to be, keep it cool and real!
Take care x
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female
reader, ariel + ♥, writes (26 June 2006):
I am attracted to the bad boy look,that does not mean he is a bad boy.In my opinion women tend to go for men similar to their father.I married a 'bad boy',he is confident,gentle,protective,and mmmmm!!! looks drop dead gorgeous in his boots and jeans.He can be boring,so can I.But he makes me comfortable and I can be myself.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,whether you are bad or good.Scientist say we are attracted to people who look similar to each other,look at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jollie don't you think they look alike?
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (26 June 2006):
 In my opinion, women prefer guys who just be themselves and not try to pretend they are something they are not.
Some women do like a bad boy, although this is generally a short term relationship.
For long term relationships, a guy should be confident, loyal and most of all honest.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Definitely not.
Speaking as a "woman of mature age", I stopped being interested in bad boys about the same time I stopped dotting my I's with little hearts, i.e. at about 17.
The stereotypes to which you refer only apply to really young and naive women, so don't sweat it.
Be normal. Be yourself. In fact, don't try to "be" anything because you think it's "what women want". To hell with the stereotypes, anyway. Would you really want to be in a relationship with a woman who expected you to shower her with gifts, just so she'd stay?
And a guy who thinks he can "treat me mean"? HA! He can take a flying leap.
"What women want" -- in the event you're ever asked -- is to be treated in much the same way that men want to be treated. Kindly, with respect and good humour. As fun company and valuable friends. And, when the time is right, as desirable and sexy.
That's it, in a nutshell.
(P.S. We're called "women", not "females". Female is an adjective that describes a noun. If you must use "female" to describe non-male people, then the correct phrasing would be "human females" or "female people"... and that sounds kind of bizarre, doesn't it? So stick with "women" when describing women. Thanks.)
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male
reader, martini +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Actually, I find that the women I am attracted to are attracted to guys who are confident about themselves, and not necessarily bad boys. Oops, I just realized...
Anyway, it depends really. There are a lot of misguided women out there that think that there are 'only' two types of guys: A) the nice guys and B) the bad boys. Well, those who see in colour also know all the other hybrids of men (and women out there). One being confident men, possibly complemented by success in career, good output/input of finances, and knows how to have fun coupled with some great smiles and sentiments.
Mind you, as with Jennybird had mentioned, it all really depends on the person.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): okay well from my point of veiw, i like guys that are badder on the outside and like nicer when you get to know them like not the kind that write sou poems and brings you flowers, but the nice guys when you get to know them.. they dont have to be an ass they just have to be funny and fun to be around.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): For myself i dont like bastards but i guess i feel more comfortable with them coz thats mostly all i attract. Its easier to deal with the familiar for me. If a guy is too nice i question why they would want to be with me, i feel constantly in suspense waiting for the "asshole" to come out in them and expect it will hurt more to get sucked in to the "nice" act in the beginning and find out it was all crap rather than knowing what you're dealing with to begin with. There's no way you can get too let down when your expectations aren't high to begin with. If i dont see some sort of prick behaviour in a guy subconsciously i'll provoke it or sabotage the situation in some way to make it the way i think it "should" be....screwed up!! Being treated like shit is what i am used to and i guess i've come to think it's all i deserve. i think something is wrong if i'm not being treated that way - it invokes fear in me of what is yet to come and so therefore never truly appreciate the moment and the nice treatment as it is. For now i'd rather just dream of that kind of guy - but in reality i'm really just wishing i could believe i was someone who deserves it! Most guys i've been with put on the "nice" guy act and i've ended up being taken for a fool...vowed not to be played like that again. So when i see that in a guy warning bells go off!! That's my deal with the "nice" guy routine anyways
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female
reader, jennybird  +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Well it all depends on the girl (of course). It's usual the really sweet girls that go for the bad boy... or as you put it bastard... they have that vibe about them that is just... so sexy
But good boys can be just as sexy, if they treat their girl right. If there quite and don't talk alot that automatically gets lots of girls attention just becase he's not really paying attention to her. Girls like a challenge as do boys
I've dated my share of sweet guys.. and some not so sweet guys...
My dear, my advice is to just be yourself, there is a girl out there just waiting for you. There someone for everyone, and if you go off acting like something your not you wont end up with "the one" as many call it.
BE YOURSELF! 3
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