A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy who Im seeing. We're not official yet because he says he will feel pressured in the relationship and he just got out a 3 year serious relationship. I know for sure that I wont sleep with him until I have a commitment but I feel like maybe I should give him some time and we can take it real slow before I completly give up on him becuase I really like him. He is hoping to get into medical school and says that he needs to dedicate his time to improving his grades and his job so he can pay for it. At 23 years old, has he not grown up yet and am I just wasting my time with him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (21 November 2008):
 Men are usually ready for commitment if they can't live without you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): He is not afraid of commitment, he is telling you the truth which is mature and honorable and grown up. His focus is medical school and you are just a girlfriend at this point.
The answer is to date other men besides him if you like him there is nothing wrong with continuing to see him and this would not be a waste of your time. Putting all your eggs in this basket would be....So be the single independent woman that you are and accept dates from other men and enjoy being single.
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A
female
reader, shaashiie +, writes (21 November 2008):
 It doesn't sound like he hasn't grown up yet, in fact it sounds quite the opposite to me. He is putting his future first by assuring he will get into medical school, which is no easy task. Maybe his last girlfriend took up a lot of his time and he couldn't focus on school and himself and he may be happy to finally have some freedom. Assure him that you would support him in his goals and not hinder him (if that is what you truly plan to do). Take it slow, if it's meant to be it will be. Whatever you do don't pressure him into being with you, as you may just push him away.
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A
female
reader, LittleHelper16 +, writes (21 November 2008):
 If he won't be offical with you then to me it just sounds like your they for when he wants you to be there and thats not good. talk to him about it and ask him what he wants and whats going to happen in the future with you. If he won't commit then maybe you should find someone that will.I hope this helped you in some wayI wish you the very best :)-Little Helper 3
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