A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I don't really believe in horoscopes or things like that, but being born under the "Scorpio" sign I do find myself being kind of jealous over my man. And I'm wondering if other women (or men) who are born under the Scorpio sign have problems with jealousy. I mean, I'm not insane about it, but there are things that ruffle my feathers. Yet other women never seem to be bothered by anything their men do and that totaly amazes me. Could it be true that Scorpio's are more jealous by nature simply because they are born under this sign?
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male
reader, whatamessinwinter +, writes (12 October 2008):
I forgot to add that if you're getting porn pop-ups, then your pc most likely has viruses/trojans etc. He caused it, so I think you should tell him to sort it out - you'll need to run a virus scanner and an anti-spyware program, and make sure your pc has a good firewall running. The free software is as effective as the commercial ones.
In general, anyone searching for sexual images on the internet is going to get adverts for escorts and sexual services popping up - so this isn't evidence that he's looking for other women. Even when in a great sexual relationship many people still get aroused by other images/sounds/videos/people - it's not like now that you're having wonderful sex, you read a novel and the sexual parts just drift over you.
I think the problem is that more than 99% of the sexual iamgery on the internet is vulgar and often offensive in some way - the language of 'sluts', 'whores' - it often seems like sexuality is a realm of hatred. But at the same time, everyone has fantasies that they would be disgusted by when not aroused - that's why there's so much secrecy, cover-ups and denials to girlfriends by men: we're taught that unless we're in bed with a sexy woman, then we are not being man enough, we're shameful. In this respect, I think women have it easier - when they 'pleasure themselves' they are 'exploring their sexuality', men are just degrading themselves. My tuppeny-worth.
A
male
reader, whatamessinwinter +, writes (12 October 2008):
In the case you give, with the women at the party, you describe knowing that they're not particularly attractive and "considerably boring in my opinion" etc. But presumably there are women in the world more attractive than you, and who your bf would find interesting. So what if, say, he texted you after work saying "I'm going to a party with some people here", so that you wouldn't know who he would meet - would that make you jealous?
The internet history porn thing is a slightly different issue, and there's lots of threads on this site about that. I'm wondering how I'd feel if I cooked a great supper for a woman, and later woke in the night to find her snacking on chicken tikka -or to be more appropriate, something vulgar, so let's say Pot Noodle -in the kitchen. Would it be offensive, imply that I hadn't satisfied her? I'm not sure, but what I do know is that women masturbate when their partners aren't around, and that they find more sexual interest in things than they let on to their men.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo answer the question "whatamess" asked me, it would seriously depend on the women he works with. In fact my b/f has met up with a few of them for drinks and it wasn't a problem. I knew them, there were 3 of them, all in happy marriages, all fairly average looking, all biologists and all considerably boring in my opinion. On the other hand, I do get a bit annoyed when I am on our computer (like now) and I keep seeing these pop up messages from porn sites and when I ask my b/f he acts like he hasn't a clue. Eventually, I look at the "history" of where he's been internet surfing, and lo and behold I find that he frequents sites where there are plenty of suggestive women advertising whatever. Now that makes me furious. Not only did he lie to me, thinking he wouldn't get caught, but he has the gall to be cruising for other women when he claims to be in love with me. Now some people would chalk that up to normal man behavior, but I take pretty good care of myself and I am not a prude. We have an excellent sex life (I'm pretty much up for almost anything) so what the hell?!....Am I jealous, or just dating an insensitive boob?
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A
male
reader, whatamessinwinter +, writes (10 October 2008):
Well, to Emilysanswers first, I think you're basically right about the ludicrousness of a predictive ability in astrology. I'm familiar with the arrogant mysticism of astrological literature (my mum was into all aspects of the occult and wanted to become a white witch).
At the same time, it's not stupid to suggest that just as we are profoundly affected by the gravitational pull of the moon (women's periods, the tide of the oceans, life on earth), it may not be idiotic to think that more distant bodies may have an effect too. I have known many Taurus people who share the most basic attributes, and as an Aries I am very aware of all the faults being strongly present in me (naivete, over-hasty thinking, impatience, domineering in arguments etc etc).
To address the poster, my partner is a scorpio - during our relationship she has been incredibly jealous. There have been times when I have noticed a woman on the tube and my partner would 'retaliate' by not speaking to me for hours - even if this woman had no attraction at all for me (I am an artist who is always drawing, and people's faces - men and women - are fascinating to me. I seriously look at men as often as women).
One time I went into a clothing store with her. She didn't find anything she liked and as we leave the store we're having a conversation about something. But the doorway (central London) is crammed full of women trying to get in, so we have to stop our conversation as we each get out of the store. I then try to resume what we were talking about, and she refuses. I had to finally guess that she had seen some woman, so she then says, "you were looking at her, I saw you" etc. It was crazy as I didn't even know who she was talking about, I had just been trying to barge out of a store, not been sitting flirting with a woman.
Another time comes to mind. We were in Prague on a tram, and a woman was sort of standing close by me as it was full. I didn't notice her much as I was reading a book. As we left, my partner turned on the jealousy - eventually she came out saying that the woman (more like teenager) had been pushing her breasts against me, and said "What is it with these Czech women, they just want to grab the foreign man?!"
Is this the sort of thing you mean? How jealous would you be of, say, your boyfriend meeting up with some women friends from work?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (26 August 2008):
Yes 1 in 12 of the population is incredibly jealous.
If you really believe that the entire universe and its start systems revolves around you and it's role in existence is to predict that you'll have a bad day at work, then yes it's because you are a scorpio.
If you think rationally then it's just because you are a jealous person. Some women are some aren't. Some will find they get jealous of One person and others they will be fine about.
Either way it is your problem so you have to deal with it. Sorry.
Good Luck!! xx
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