A
male
age
30-35,
*ivingLifeLarge
writes:This is my first time doing this, and here's my problem:I find myself really attracted to an older girl who's about 5 years older than me. She's just about to finish her undergraduate degree while i'm in my first year in college. I find her incredibly interesting and smarter than most the girls my own age...but i feel at the same time she could be out of my league a little bit. Not to mention the social stigmas of an older female-younger male relationship.What do you think, worth a try? How would I proceed?Thanks. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LivingLifeLarge +, writes (5 April 2008):
LivingLifeLarge is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to say thanks to the people that replied. Nice to know people listen.
I will TRY to give it a go...i guess it's all a matter of having the courage to do what i have to do here.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): I think you should go for it. The only problem is like if I were her, I would feel really weird going out with someone your age. Cause there is a stigma about that for her especially. Like she's robbing the cradle. Like her friends might tease her, maybe even her family. But at my age, (I'm 27), I currently like a guy who is 20. I mean I don't really know him but he is gorgeous and I have a very big crush. And I look like I am 17. So we wouldn't look mismatched. But at my age now, 27, I certainly wouldn't mind dating someone younger. But if I were 21 or 22, back then , there is no way I would have dated a teenager or anyone younger than me. I think you should pursue her and expect just being friends. But if you are lucky she might be interested too. But if not just be friends and hopefully eventually you will both reach an age that will work for both of you.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 April 2008):
 She's finishing the stage you're beginning. That would be the only problem. I wouldn't worry about the age, or the social stigma of it, as long as I could have the girl.
Go for her, man. "'Tis better to have loved and lost..."
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A
male
reader, 17Irish17  +, writes (5 April 2008):
Think of it this way. If you ask her out and she says no, you are no worse off than you are right now. Also, you say she is about to graduate. That means in the next few weeks, she will leave school and you may never see her again. For the rest of your life you will always ask yourself, "I wonder what WOULD have happend had I asked her out?"
You are probably questioning yourself like every guy does. What will she think? Could I ever face her again, etc. Well, my friend you are in a very special position that very few guys get. YOU hold all the cards. She says no, so what. Like I said, you may never see her again.
Go in with confidence, but dont be cocky, and ask her out. Ask her out as if you were out of her leauge. It's all a matter of confidence!!
I know it works, I have tried it! The above advice came from a good friend of mine.
Good luck to ya, let me know how it goes
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