A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a really [REALLY!] insecure person. About everything. My appearance, my body, my boyfriend, my friends...it's ridiculous. And I know when I am rational that I AM being ridiculous. It's all those other irrational times (80% of the time!) that I don't. There hasn't been much to set it off really, I guess boys have messed me around a bit, one used to pick on one aspect of my face daily, the other used to see girls behind my back when we were dating. Although I'd like to blame that entirely I know I cannot. I have considered counselling but am yet to attend. But please tell me there are others like me, or that I am not completely insane. Or if anyone could offer up advice. Thank you, guys :(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): Hey,
Yeah I think everyone has some for of insecurity. I've been having a little midlife crisis in my senior year of college. I don't really know where I am going with my life. I don't really have a problem with myself(looks) perse just the actions I take. I know I do it to myself and I try to remind myself that I can snap out of it. I think the root of my being is saying I just need to find myself and what I really want. Im really tired of other people saying things to me. I don't care if its a good thing or a bad thing. I am just fed up with myself not having a position on the matter. I know in most peoples eyes I might be smart but I want that to come from me not some other dude on the street. I want to hear myself say it and believe it. With my current relationship that im in. I didn't really have the want/need to pursue it. I just sort of let it fall in my lap. I have decided to seek counseling and am going to join a martial arts class. Hapkido. Its my life and I want to live it. I want to take risks.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): Lots of people like you, most of them carry this invisibly and deny it.
I'm married to someone who could have written what you wrote. We have been married a long time, counseling to help us understand each other (we ad problems because I'm far from insecure..really far from it and my wife admired me because of my self confidence and I didn't even see that...and I didn't understand the insecurity or how severe it was) is what got us through it.
Lots of books on this issue and why it arises.
If you have a history of physical, emotional, sexual, or substance abuse it compounds the problems associated with this.
Get counseling, online or in person, if the first counselor doesn't work then try another. Read everything you can on the issues you have experienced.
There is always a reason.
Illicit drugs and alcohol are NOT answers to the problem, regardless of how good they may make you feel. In fact, they exacerbate the problem (paranoia and altered thinking in marijuana users and depressive thinking with alcohol).
Prescription drugs can make the problem worse as well, and that needs to be carefully looked at if you are taking them. Your doctor cannot see these symptoms if you have them, and will be in the dark unless you tell them explicitly how you are feeling.
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A
female
reader, Viv Acious  +, writes (11 November 2010):
Hello. Of course there are others like you! Why do you think there are so many counsellors, hypnotherapists, personal trainers, nutritionalists, gyms, spiritual gurus, books, CDS, DVDs, to help people with low self-esteem? (A multi-billion dollar industry actually relies on it). xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Hey you!
Yes I am very insecure and Id say Im a rather unique case of how I came to be so I will not go into detail but I will certainly tell you the opposite sex played a small role. Yeah Im a big guy, yeah people tell me positive things, yet...at the beginning of the day I look in the mirror after my shower and say "Who the hell am I?"...My issues have gotten much better and that is all in thanks to counseling. I have paid a small price for improving my mental health and it is very well worth it. Im normally a face to face guy but because I gasp at the thought of sitting down with and explaining all my probs, I did online counseling and can recommend a few people for you if you so wish. Good luck and stay positive :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): I'm also very insecure. I am mostly insecure about my looks and weight, but also because I am very shy. I'm only 15, but I have only had one boyfriend and I always think that boys do not take an interest because I am not pretty, but older women and men tell me I'm pretty all the time. I guess the best advice I can give you is to just be confident in your own skin. I know thats not helpful, but its the only way to fix it. If a guy has that much to say about someone they are most likely insecure with themselves even more. I'm sure you are beautiful just the way you are and there is no need to change. If you really think counseling is necessary, then go for it! :) hope i helped!
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