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Any woman that shows interest in me I want to shove away!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 November 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 November 2010)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I had a really great romantic relationship going with a girl I loved. She decided that she was in love with a guy she spent a weekend with a few months ago. We did a lot of great stuff together, and a an awesome personal intimate connection. but I cut her loose, because she was jumping back and forth.

Anyway I was deeply hurt and violated over it. it's manifesting itself into a distrust, and hatred of women my own age. This weekend some very cute girls were quite interested in me. One even worked up the couage to start a conversation while I was playing pool. I was downright pissed off! At a party another sat down beside me, and placed her hand on my leg, I told her to take her hands off me. I know it's wrong, but every woman that shows interest in me, or touches me, I want shove her away from me. Should I stop going out? I totally distrust women now, what should I do?

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A female reader, Tine United Kingdom +, writes (29 November 2010):

Tine agony auntno you should certainly not stop going out, you just need time to get over this girl who broke your heart.Sitting in and becoming cut off from the world will do you no good at all. But please don't write every girl off, there are girls out there who do actually know how to treat a man, with love and respect.

You just need time to mend your heart how about spending time going out with guy friends, learning how to have a good time again with your friends and concentrate on getting yourself back to your normal self, before you even think about talking to another girl again. Then as time goes on you'll start to develop friendships with girls and eventually you'll bump into that special someone who will treat you right.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (29 November 2010):

YouWish agony auntYou're at a crossroads. Events, and your reaction to them, will change the course of your very life right now when it comes to romantic encounters, and even platonic social ones. You have had a betrayal so intense that you could swear you felt your actual heart crack.

The human psyche in most people has the ability to "balance" itself after a period of time, much like the physical body has the power to eventually heal. Right now, you're grieving the relationship you once had, and you're furious at the one who has caused you this level of pain. You also are starting to feel disillusioned about the whole idea of intimate love in the first place, and it's starting to harden into a brittle bitterness that is corroding your soul like rust corrodes a car.

At this very moment, you should stop going out. Right now, in your pain, you are causing significant pain to people who never did you any harm. The girl who started a conversation with you, and especially the girl who put her hand on your leg were coldly rejected by you for no reason of their own. Now they have their own hesitation in them.

The thing about bitterness is that it is contagious. It spreads. You get pissed at girls for hitting on you, they get hurt. They take that hurt and act coldly towards the next guy who shows interest in them in their own act of defense. See how the cycle continues?

Yes, you were hurt. But you will heal, and it's not the fault of women. How many women deal with men cheating and using them, not to mention the sexual assaults and rapes? YOU, instead of getting bitter, hard, and callous, should get the greatest revenge on the woman who broke your heart.

I'm not talking revenge as in violence or forever holding a grudge. No way. The best revenge you can get on her is to bounce back from this pain, fall deeply in love with someone, and get to the point where you barely remember the name of the woman who hurt you. The woman who hurt you should mean nothing to you now, and in fact, she shouldn't have the power to make you bitter and wallow in your pain. In fact, she did you a favor by exposing her immature and amoral weakness by cheating on you and saving you from possibly marrying and having children with her.

You're feeling this way now because you are not over this woman. Every second you spend not being over this woman and being angry at other women is a second where your ex has complete and binding power and control over you. You might as well be pining after her and crying every night in a pathetic heap or lying prostrate at her doorstep begging and pleading.

No. Your pride, ego, and mental health demand that you pick yourself up off the ground, dust yourself off, and cleanse yourself of the taint of what she has done to you. Then she will have no power over you, and your heart will unlock in order to open it to someone else more worthy and less immature. She will be with this new man she claims to be in love with, and her weakness will assert itself yet again after their "new car smell" is off the relationship.

Do you hear what I'm saying? Finally, MOST of us women are NOT like that. Connect with us emotionally and be there for us, and we have the ability to shower you with love and adoration. Being bitter will eventually be a lonely affair, and there is no sadder individual than one who craves human intimacy while at the same time shoving it away. Will you be that guy? If you do, your ex has won.

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A female reader, Mjfbla United States +, writes (29 November 2010):

Mjfbla agony auntAw not every woman is like that! If a guy cheats does that mean all men are cheaters? Maybe try to just be friends with girls your age. Your ex really screwed you over. You are afraid to get hurt. But dont let that cause you to hate all women. We dont deserve that. If you start with friendship, maybe trust with grow.

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A female reader, Julliet Canada +, writes (29 November 2010):

Julliet agony auntFirstly, she's not every woman. You have to keep in mind that everyone is different. Obviously, you still have feelings for her, but you definitely did the right thing. Everybody is entitled to true love. True love is, people being faithful to each other, fucking each other, loving each other, complimenting each other, and being financially stable with each other. Women like to be treated like princesses, and they should be, but men don't say much that they like being treated like a prince. Therefore, treat your woman like a queen, and let her know that you should be treated like a king. I have so much more to say, but I feel I should shut up now...lol....in conclusion. You are not ready for other women that's the reason why you're pushing them away. You will know when you're ready because she won't matter anymore. And don't forget.....she broke you heart, but she didn't take it. Your soul mate is out there and she's the one that should get it. :)

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