A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:In dating this lady for last 8 months that turned romantic after starting two years ago. Lived with her, her invitation with her and her young daughter. Things were going well, but seemed odd to be asked to keep any pda's away from her daughter being able to see and always act like roommate situation. However we did cross a line , and after discussions of marrige, and certainly having children ( which I am not opposed, even at 43). It always seemed like she wasnt really opening up to me. I was getting frustrated, and yes begin to drink to not address my feelings about things. She found my journal about situations, which is how I have dismissed my anger at things, and now I have moved out after 3 months, was told to be her. Seeking and going to counseling, but first counself she wasnt happy with, so we are trying new one tonight, just want somebody else input, on what they may think is happening. Next day after journal, she read my email and saw where I had purchased some cell phone spyware. It was never installed, but yes, I did think about it, for I have wondered on who is it that she is emotionally available to. She really isnt a talkative woman, so I am learning to accept the quiet that she is, Just give me some feedback here, and I would appreciate it. Thanks
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female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 I have never seen my father be affectionate with his girlfriend in front of me, on the rare times I've seen her, and I am glad he's happy and has moved on. I'm 25 years old and more than equipped emotionally to deal with it. He's a private person, I get that, so no big deal.
My mom has no issue giving big sloppy kisses to her boyfriend in front of me, to gross me out (and OH, it does...) and then laughs about it afterwards.
I'm currently in a relationship with a man who has a child from a past relationship. When I first met his son (he's now 3), we didn't really touch or show any obvious signs of affection towards each other. You never really know how a child will react, and they may be very uncomfortable seeing their parent act that way with a new person. It may upset them, and make them sad or even angry. In my case, I am very close to his son and so far we like each other, and we have now relaxed into our normal routine with him.
Every situation is different, but it seems odd to me that she would ask you to live with her and her daughter if she wasn't at least somewhat sure her daughter would be able to handle it. Do you feel as though you had a good relationship with the daughter before you moved in? It could be that your partner is just a more private person (like my father) and would prefer to keep those things just between you two. Really, I can't say anything without knowing a little bit more about your situation. She may be a quiet person, and that's fine, but you two still need to sit down and talk about these things. Until that's done, I don't see your situation improving. Just be patient with her, and I'm sure she'll feel comfortable opening up eventually.
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