| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am inclined more towards being shy. But it is not that i can't speak when it is vital. I have realized the root cause of my shyness to be my father's treatment. He treats me like an underdog in most of the conversations i have with him. Rarely does he listen and disregards any valid argument i make. As if he was the only person to have a right to speak in important matters. Same thing holds true for some other males in my family. This makes me feel unimportant in such social settings and i just don't bother to take any active interest. Though i can be quite a conversant person when around trustworthy friends who consider me with respect. But i want to speak up to this arrogant males who have been such a depressing force for me in life. Any advice on what should i do with such social situations?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (20 March 2007):
 You need some professional confidence and self esteem work. This will help you learn how these people made you feel, get in touch with yourself then make the changes that you want to make.
I think it will be hard to change you and the habits of a lifetime without this help: this is who you have become because of the way you have been treated by others and it takes a lot of hard work to break out of that and become a stronger person.
But it can be done and I think it's great you want to. After all the work, I think you will feel so good once you finally say the things you want to say to these people and also in other situations, like meeting new people. Your life could really take off once you have the social skills to make it happen!
Don't let these men hold you back: you've seen a problem with yourself and, unlike problems with others, this is something we can make conscious decisions to change.
Good luck with getting the help and I hope it all works out for you and you have the opportunity to say the things you want to.
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