A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This isn't a request for help, it's just some advice for a lot of these people asking questions out there. I feel for the questions about dealing with ex's. Ex-boyfriends and Ex-girlfriends are never good news. We all have them, but they should be kept to a limit for the sanity of your future relationship/marriage. I mean most people would overlook if you had 2 or 3 or even 5 bf's or gf's, but if you can't even count them, and everyone you run into in a grocery store has seen you naked, you're not going to get a lot of respect and love from a future bf or gf, especially if they are ready to settle down and get married/have kids/etc..I read these posts (mostly from young females) like I'm 12 and still a virgin, or I'm 16, dating this guy for 2 weeks and want to have sex. It makes me cringe how they are going to mess up their future happiness with that someone special. I believe in being a virgin when you get married (or at least in a long term relationship), that means you're dating for a while and you really like the guy/girl, not that hormones are kicking in and you sleep around, or worse yet, these girls I read posting, and even hear now that our daughter is 13, that they are going to 'give it up' to 'keep' the boyfriend. Girls, NO ONE is worth giving your virginity up for unless you really love them and think you'll be together for a long time. My wife was a virgin when we got engaged, and you have no clue how important that was to me, and how much closer we are because of it (of course now it is 16 years later), but it was extremely important to both of us in the beginning. Anyway, what we are going to tell our daughter (and real soon, she isn't allowed to 'date' until 15, but she has started going to the school dances, and to the mall with a 'mixed sex' crowd. We're going to be open and honest with her, she knows my wife was a virgin and has only been with me, and how important that is to a strong relationship, but my wife did date other guys before me. And you know teenage hormones, stuff is GOING to happen, it's just a question of giving each other pleasure without 'ruining' your innocence. My wife's rule (and she really did stick with this), is, when you're on a date, and go making out, whether parking in a car, or back on your parents couch because they're not home, is that only 1 of you can be naked. Never both people naked at the same time. My wife said that you can just take turns giving each other pleasure, but if 1 of you is still dressed, there is NO chance for things to go 'TOO FAR'. It worked for my wife, so I'm putting this out there for everyone to pass on as good advice, especially for teenage girls who are just entering the dating and sexual pressures world.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): That has been the BEST advice i have ever heard! Although i would like to tell/ask for advice. To cut a really story short, my ex boyfriend raped me, i still dont know why, i would have still loved to be a virgin for my dear sweetheart one day although that was all blown up. About 7 month ago i started 'dating'a guy 12 older then myself, he was married for 2 years, his wife left with another man, i have told him my life story and so on, as he has told me. We do go out and have fun supper and movies, go on holiday together and so, every now and then i dream of his ex wife, fear that she might come back, im pretty sure he still loves her, he has a wedding in his wallet and talks about her, although he says that chapter in his life is closed he has someone more special to think about now, me, the other day a remind came up on his cellphone, sweethearts birthday, she left the country to be with this other guy. Should i try and get them back together or how can i show him im here, i care about you and only want the best for you?... Ps.. We have had sex twice and it has made our relationship stronger in may ways, although sometimes i wonder if he ever wishes i was her..
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): great advice! I am so glad - and so is my boyfriend- that I am still a virgin upon us getting together. We have been together quite a while now and are planning to hold out a good while longer to be 101% sure... but it means the world to him that I will be his 1st!
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