A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm confused and frustrated. My guy and I got back together 8 months ago after being apart six months. I am wanting more of a commitment from him . All he says when I press the issue is I want that to just not yet . When I say you knew what I wanted when you came after me again. His reply is always I'm here aren't I ? Am I just suppose to wait for him to be ready . If he really wanted me he wouldnt he know ? He is currently going through a depression. That too is driving me crazy . He has nothing to be depressed about . I should be depressed I hv had 4 close relatives die in the past 18 months . Yet I move on with my life . He doesn't want to do anything other than drink. I annex a weekend get away he told me he doesn't want togo . Our sex life is going downhill. Is he really depressed or looking for a way out ? I do love him and he swears he loves me . Am I wasting my time ?
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depressed, got back together, move on, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 August 2010):
Like I said. He had serious issues. I'm sorry you got hurt again. Please do not allow this man back into your life.
A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 maybe that was the best thing for you. time to go find someone who's stable. and please don't get back with him again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell he took selfishness to a new level . We had sex and then he said he can't do this anymore and needed to find himself and dumped me .
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (3 August 2010):
Let him figure out what wrong by himself. you need to keep it moving. He's already told you what he doesn't want and he's showing that too. You don't want the same thing so find someone who does.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): He loves you, BUT he loves drinking more than you, himself and anything else. DRINKING is his priority. If he is in teh same age bracket as you are (41-50) it's probably safe to say that he is never going to change his ways unless God himself changes the guy. Alcohol is a serious addiction and the addict can not stop on they're own. It affects they're emotions, it affects how they think, it also affects they're sexual performance and causes mood swings.
The only way you will be "successful" in this relationship is if you accept that his drinking will come before, but if you are a human being with even half a brain, you will NOT want to put up with that sort of problem for the rest of your life here on earth. Dealing with a person who has any kind of addiction is a project, time consuming and draining...you will not feel loved even though mentally they do love you, and they will be a ball and chain around your neck.
So, he probably loves you, but he loves the alcohol even more. If you want to stay you can, but just know what you are up against and don't stay with the thinking that you are going to change him...he can't even change himself, therefore, you can't.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 August 2010):
It didn't work out before, and it's not going to work out now. This guy has some serious issues, and I think you'be been through tool much in the past year or so to be able to take on this guy and his problems as well. I think you should move on from this guy and find one who isn't so hung up on himself.
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