A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for five years now. It was a fairly good relationship, there are arguments however we manage to clear the air eventually after each argument/fight. However, I can't help but become insecure as most of our friends are engaged or getting married next year. My boyfriend and I have discussed our future plans however nothing is definite. Main reason I guess is that of financial aspect but as far as I can tell, we can get married if he really wants to. We are both working and I am not sure what's taking him so long to propose. I keep thinking how long I have to wait for him. I guess one big factor is also his family. He's the eldest son and his parents expect him to takeover the financial responsibilities when his dad retires in a few years. It's very difficult that I have to wait for things to happen. I somehow feel that he is slowly pulling away from the relationship with all the pressure and expectations. I love him very much but I want to settle down soon enough. Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks very much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your advice and generous responses. I am trying to give myself some time to evaluate the relationship and hope I will make the right decision.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): You are not waiting to be with him. You're waiting for that little symbol that you will be with him forever. You are wasting your time waiting for him to propose. You know you want to be with him forever, you know that you two are committed and that's all you need. Remember to enjoy his company without the constant anticipation.
I actually don't reccomend asking him to marry you. It's clear that you're ready and he needs a little longer, so if you ask him, you risk him feeling cornered and uncomfortable and either saying "no" or saying "yes" and not meaning it.
Goodluck.
~Sy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): Don't rush into everything. Don't do somthing you aren't positive about just because all your friends are doing it. And a marriage is between two people, talk to your boyfriend about what's on your mind, maybe even ask him if he plans on proposing soon, or when he will.
best of luck
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