A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have known a lady on the internet for 8 years. We fell in love. My marriage was already on the way down and I divorced 7 years ago. I have been on my own ever since. My internet friend and I finally met 5yrs ago and it has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster since. Long story short, we have both cheated on each other through loneliness but have now reached a stable part of our relationship. We call each other most days and have gone through many things with each other as support. One day we hope to be together but we have been saying this for many years. Right now, due to many things it is not our time, I understand that. We see each other twice a year.I am in a quandary, I have been hurt in the past and I am the kind of guy who doesn't like hurting others. I love my lady and I will not socialise with anyone closer in case they get the message that I am available. I am too lonely to take the risk of closer comfort when my love is so far away. I watch tv and have my social life online keeping away from personal relationships.I will probably end up alone, I accept that, but at least I won't hurt any one again. And whilst I still have my long distance lover. I have some hope.Am I wasting my life? Thank you for reading
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, danibodemann  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 John Lennon said "Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted." if you are happy in this relationship and you think someday you both will be together then stick with it. If you have trust, respect, and good communication, don't throw this relationship out the window. Of course, every day will not be wonderful,but the ones that are wonderful are the ones that matter most because just think about all the great moments you'll have when you're together. You'll be glad you hung onto her.
I myself am in the same situation as you. I actually posted a question similar to this one. My boyfriend lives 3000 miles away from me and I see him 3/4 times a year. I broke up with him last year for a couple months because I thought I was wasting my life. But I realized I would rather be with him ling distance than anyone else that's proximal to me. Instead of looking at the negative side of things, look at the positive. If you love spending time with her, you make each otter laugh, you compromise, you both love and care for one another and you're both honest then appreciate that.
Relationships are hard and sometimes the best way hrough them is to just stay positive and appreciate each other, especially in LDR's.
My bf and I write love letters to Each other, we talk on the phone every night for a couple hours. We text throughout the day. Ive been with him for 2 years and in the past I focused on what I could have rather that what I already have. And I realized he's a great catch and I wouldn't change anything that we've gone through because it'sade us stronger.
So talk more often, send letters, skype. But don't let go of someone if you're happy with them.
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