A
female
age
41-50,
*onareim
writes:hi,normally it is the husband that lies,but it's different in my case. i would like to know if am the only married lady who lies to her husband. i dont want to any more but i just cant stop.i lived a rough life as a youth (which he knows)and whenever i call up a male friend from college days,for example, i have this urge to keep it from him so he doesn't think am longing to be with my former b/friends again.but the truth is that am not getting in touch with my exs,but i still don't tell him when i speak with anybody.i just feel like he doesn't need to know so he doesnt start worrying, but when i eventually tell him the truth or when he catches me in a lie,am all ashamed.am i alone in these shoes?has anyone saved her marriage from this?please help me
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): Hi Mona - yes i know what you mean. My experience is that i have lost part of me - i split up with her last year to go find me ( i am still looking) and due to other circumstance now trapped elsewhere - so think before you make a move
in the meantime she has sorted a lot of problems and seems much more confident and well, normal. A lot of environmental things that were problems (the house being rebuilt) and we were forced to live in one room are now sorted, and she is much better. But not the right person for me.
I think i would say talk to him - maybe go out e.g. dancing or spend lots of time with other people so that he gets use to others - i think that was a mistake we made.
star.x.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): Hello OtherStarfish,
thanks for your reply.
from what you described,we both held back something for the same reason: to prevent the other party from being hurt.you call it avoiding, and i call it lying.
just wish my husband would stop feeling so insecure........
mona
...............................
A
female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (25 March 2009):
 I dont think its just you, i think everyone has little white lies - as long as nothing is actually going on with you and these people i dont see its a problem, even married couples need a tiny bit of a private life - if you feel you should be holding back from him though, perhaps think about why you feel you need to and either talk to him about it. stop beating yourself up and you'll be ok xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): hmmm interesting post. ok hate posts that say all men do this or all women do that. anyway....
have been through a similar thing with my ex. lost touch with some very good friends, because it was easier not too and then try and explain it to her.
she was very insecure and this was a way of me trying to protect her (not from anything bad) but just ended up hurting me more. its wasn't lying just avoiding. I now
(that she is my ex) have to catch up with those friends again.
oh and i hope you are alone in those shoes. i dont think we could both fit.
Star.x.
...............................
|
