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Am I the "Back-up" girl ?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 October 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 26 October 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

He broke up with me for someone else but he says i can still talk to him on the phone if i wanted to

why does he still want to talk to me if he didnt want me anymore, i'm not aloud to meet him just talk on the phone

Is it as I'm a back up if things dont go well with this new girl?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008):

Spot On!!You know you are the back up girl.you just wanted to confirm it with us.So Yes!.Do you think being the second best is enough for any self respecting girl.Are you a vacation home that he can come running back to.Kick him out.Stop taking his calls.you are not allowed to meet him.What an ass is this guy.Are you feeling angry now?you should be!Appropriate Anger at the right moment is the best weapon of war.You can throw any of his gifts,cards as well so that it doesn't remind you of him.Tear up his pic,burn it.Just get the guy out of your life.Heck!you deserve better!

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A female reader, dinosaurexx United States +, writes (26 October 2008):

dinosaurexx agony aunti'd have to say yes you are :(

this happened to me a while ago with my most recent ex bf.

id say you do your best to get over him and move on. because if your like me and stay as the backup girl, it NEVER ends up good for you...

hes just going to use you when she decides she doesnt want him, like he decided to break up with you.

dont let him treat you like that. you dont deserve it.

hope i helped :(

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A female reader, shiraz United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2008):

hiyah, you obviously had a good relationship before now and he wants to carry on without cutting you off completely its really unfair and it can mess you up so i think you should be the stronger person and let this one go. you dont have anything left together so theres no need to hang on to the past, its such a harsh lesson to learn and god it hurts but you can and will do better. dont be anybodys second best thats degrading as a person and will eat away at you constanly. its not something you need in your life and you no longer have to put up with it, so dont!

best of luck :) x

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2008):

Yep sounds like he wants to keep you onside so he can come running back if it all goes wrong with his new girl.

Tell him that he broke up with you so he doesn't get to speak to you.

He's an idiot for leaving you and you deserve better treatment.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008):

Im sorry to say this but yes you are the backup...the same thing happened to me except this guy insisted that we be friends but still wanted to have sex with me....so he wanted to have his cake and eat it too...also knowing that you are there without a relationship boost his ego because he thinks that he has control over you....so what I suggest you do is to stop calling him and to find someone who will want to be with you fulltime not just at his request...good luck..(:

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