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Am I selfish for wanting more affection from my boyfriend?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 3 December 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ive been with my boyfriend coming up to 3 years, i love him so much. I've had moments where i've wondered if i do really love him or if i do want to be with him, but the fact is he's the best thing thats ever happened to me, and i know i don't want to lose him. i worry sometimes that he doesnt feel the same about me anymore. i like to be cuddled, kissed, made a fuss of from time to time, i like romance and to be told he loves me from time to time. the thing is he doesnt do any of that. i have to ASK for cuddles and kisses, i have to hold HIS hand, he just seems so relaxed about the whole relationship. It's like he doesnt have to make the efffort anymore, and when i question him about it, he gets mad and makes out im looking for problems where there arent any.

im not saying this is like a make or break situation, it just wouldnt hurt for him to suprise me with a bit of affection once in a while. I listen to other people who have also been with their partners a long time and their stories about partners filling rooms with candles, random bunches of flowers, a text to say their thinking of them. i love my boyfriend so much and im always texting him when im thinking of him. i like to treat him to small gifts if i see something he likes, i compliment him, i kiss him randomly. and i get nothing back, and its making me really sad.

He says he loves me when i bring the subject up, but am i so selfish for wanting more than that?

View related questions: flowers, text

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A female reader, Ihurt2 United States +, writes (3 December 2009):

Ihurt2 agony auntStop complimenting him, giving gifts, and anything that has to do with you trying to win his affection. Men are hunters, and they prey on women! Give him space, do your own thing, act busy even if not. Don't be so obvious,just leave him space and stop asking. Remember, "The closer I get; the more you ignore me" ??? I know, it's sad - but it is true! Good luck =)

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