A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm really in love with my boyfriend (Ex-boyfriend?) but we argue all the time. Right now, we've broken up, but when this happens before, we get back together within 48 hours.The problem is that he doesn't give me the choice. I mean, I chose to fall in love and be with him. I continue to chose to be with him, despite my friendships with other people. But he doesn't care about this, he just wants me to drop all my friends and all my interests to be with him. And yes, I love him enough to do this. I actually have not spoken to a lot of my friends because of this man. I've been in love with him for the past year and would do anything for him. My love for him is unconditional.The problem is that he wants to try this. He wants me literally to give up everything for him. I love him so much that I did this for him, but then just more issues came up. He's never satisfied, but I keep trying. I just... I love him so much, and thinking now that we really are going to have to be apart kills me.I'm pretty certain that I should be mad at him for trying to change who I am and for him making all these demands of me... But I'm just not. I still want to be everything for him, and I'm really REALLY upset that it's over. It's true when I said that I would do anything for him.But he just can't make me happy like this. Ignoring all these issues, he's the most amazing man I've ever known. He's smart, and funny, and deep, and everything I want. But I constantly feel like I'm not good enough for him. He won't accept me. He keeps trying to force me to love him. Don't get me wrong, I love him with all my heart, but I want the choice, you know? My love for him is seriously devalued when it's made to seem like I have no other choice.So, I don't really know what my question is, and this is more of a rant, but I just need advice on my situation. I love him so much, and I want to be with him, but we shouldn't be together right? I'm sacrificing far too much for him, without him even noticing or caring? He tells me that he loves me, and I believe him. I've always loved him no matter what he says or does, but I think he's taking this thing too far, and it shows that he doesn't love me in the same way?Please, anybody who can shed some light on this really confusing time would be most appreciated.
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female
reader, artlover  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 It is not healthy for you to give up your friends and your life to make anyone happy. It is not fair to you or your friends. Do you really want to be a prisoner in your relationship. This man is being selfish and fearful. you can try to talk to him about it but have realistic expectations. more than likely he will be unable to meet you halfway. i say this because expecting you to give up your friends and your life is extreem. Take care of yourself.
A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (7 March 2007):
 Get rid of him. You say he loves you and then you say he wants you to change. So what you are saying is he doesnt love you the way you are. You may not realise it now but giving up your friends is not a good idea. You are giving giving giving and he keeps taking. He is trying to control you and this certainly is not love. Love is made on respect for each other and wanting to be with a person for who they are not who he wants you to be. If you let him away with this whats next? If you really dont want to dump him sit him down and tell him straight. You are not going to change or give up your friends and if that isnt good enough for him say goodbye.
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