A
male
age
36-40,
*ayg17
writes:My fiancé is always texting one of two guys! everyday without fail. even some mornings before she goes to work.we've been together for 7 years, engaged for 1. she's been texting the same two guys everyday for like a year, and it really gets on my nerves. we'll sit and watch tele, and she's there texting. we'll be out, she's texting. over at my mum and dads, and she's still texting!!ive told her it reallys annoys me that she's always texting these guys and its hardly fair that even though i live with her, she speaks to these other two more than me. (she has their email addresses at work as well). oh, and she works with one of them. Im actually friends with both of them as well, but they only ever speak to me if im out with her.am i right to be this annoyed about this? or should i let her text away?i dont mind her having guy friends... but two guy best friends?! no no no. im pretty sure is you ask any guy is theyd be ok with this theyd say no...what should i do? ive tried speaking to her about it, but whenever i do she turns it around on me and says i dont trust her, or says she's fed up of it being an issue.
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male
reader, jayg17 +, writes (17 January 2012):
jayg17 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, a wee update to this story....
i picked her up from town on sunday night to save her and a mate gettin a taxi home. she was out til 2am as she was off work the next day.
i had text her that night to say i was having a crap night and that i missed her (i smacked a pothole and had to change my tyre in the dark, i dont have the money for a new tyre).
the reply i got was "we're just going to bamboo"
that was it!!
i didnt text her the rest of the night as i figured i wldnt pest because she was out with a mate that she doesnt see that often as she stays in aberdeen.
so i pick them up, and it turns out she was texting one of these guy friends... at 2am. now this guy had work the next morning. who stays up that late texting someone elses fiancé when they have work the next day?!
so we came home and we were goin to bed, and she went to make some tea. she had left her phone in the bedroom turned off... so (and yes, maybe im a dick for doing this, but she's done it to me in the past and i cldnt take it anymore) i turned it on and read her msges from this guy.
turns out at some point in this "friendship" they have both had feelings for the other one. there were msges sayin tht theyd imagined the other naked, and honestly others similar, i cant write too much cos im gettin infuriated just typing.
i questioned her about this when she came up and she said its a joke, that they were winding each other up. that yes, at some point she had had feelings for him but it was only for a day and a half. and he liked her at the start of their friendship (which i told her he did but she didnt believe me).
she works with this guy (infact she's at work just now) so i can hardly tell her she cant see him again.
i really dont know what to do or what to believe. she said tht it was her depression and the pills she takes made her confused.
in response to banana1, she spends every single day texting this guy, and doesnt talk much to me while doing so. im always there to listen, altho sometimes i dont understand her depression, which she told me is why she texts this guy so much because aparently he does.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): How is your relationship in general, besides that topic?
Are you happy together or do you bore the hell out of each other?
Is she the only insensitive person or do you also contribute to this, by not being a good listener, by ignoring her needs?
Maybe you want to evaluate this relationship a bit more generally. If everything else is totally fine, I guess you could relax about it, but sounds like a symptom of you guys not having much to say to each other any more. And that's dangerous.
I was also engaged once, and my fiancé spent more and more time at her sports group, up to 6 times a week and she was almost never at home anymore. I'm not the jealous type but I felt something's weird. She avoided me and didn't get intimate with me anymore, it was like we were roommates. After we broke up I found out she'd been in love with the trainer for some time.. I don't want to scare you, but pay attention if she's annoyed by you really quickly, if she pushes you away even if you're not mad at her or bringing up this subject, if she still listens to what you're saying or just ignores you.
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