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male
,
anonymous
writes: There is this girl at work i like and i think she likes me too but i am not sure if it is just as a friend, and because we work together it's a bit difficult to talk to her about it. It started a few months ago when she said that she missed me while i had been on holiday. Then a few weeks after that she was telling me that she was going for a meal with her parents but it got cancelled and she said that maybe i could take her instead. When i said yes that would be nice she just walked off. Then after that she started maiking excuses as to why we could not go to lunch with the other people we work with, but they were always things that had never been a problem before. I have noticed recently how there is alot of eye contact between us and lots of gigling and smiling when we are together and a lot of playfull mickey taking. Also if we talk to each other about things we have done at the weekend she always goes into a lot of detail about her friends and her family as if i know them even though i have never met them before. I am not sure what is the best way to talk to her about this as we are both quite shy and i dont't want to make her feel awkward if i have got the wrong idea about what she thinks of me. Any advice would be much appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (3 April 2006):
 It does sound like she is keen but as you said shy.
I would bite the bullet and suggest that the two of you do something after work one night.
Find something she is interested in and cater towards that - if she likes Chinese food, say to her, "I know a great chinese restaurant, I can take you there one night after work if you would like, the food is fantastic there".
The best thing to do is to take the relationship out of the workplace for it to thrive.
However, it is also bearing in mind if something did start between you two how that would impact on your work. I don't know what kind of workplace you work in but you should carefully consider some of the implications involved in a workplace romance, including:
*Gossip amongst other staff
*Issues that may arise if you or her is more senior to the other
*Working together and dating can be stressful
*What happens if things don't work out, would it be uncomfortable in the workplace from that point on.
Carefully consider these.
However, it does sound like she is keen and if you think it is the right move dating someone you work with, I think you need to go for it and take the relationship out of the workplace and into your personal time.
A
male
reader, GodofGraphics +, writes (3 April 2006):
 It can be risky to assume somehting a woman is thinking. I know a few women who are just very flirty as people, very open, very happy.
If you want to risk the friendship you have for a chance to be with her, then take that risk. One of my many regrets is being a 'wait and see' guy, and everything that caould be good slips through my fingers.
Invite her and her freinds out for a quiet drink, ask her out to dinner, tell her, not to bluntly, how you feel about her. If you dont make the risk, then you risk losing it all.
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