A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok my boyfriend and I have been going out for two months now. We are both 19 years old. After about a month of going out he started trying to initiate sex and at first I was unsure so we held back and waited. A couple of weeks ago I felt ready so we tried but he couldn't keep it up (despite having had a very obvious hard-on 5 seconds previously). I said it was ok and we left it at that. Then a couple of nights later we tried again and the same thing happened.I don't want to sound like a sex-mad individual here but it is quite frustrating when we go from having great mutual masturbation every night (no problems there) to being unable to go the next step, especially when it was him who wanted it so much.I haven't told him I feel frustrated, just told him that it's ok and stuff. He says it's just that he's really nervous, which I believe because he was trembling all over the whole time. How do I reassure him that it's nothing to be scared of? I have had two sexual partners before him, he claims I am his first.My main worry is he'll think I'm trying to pressure him into sex when he's just not ready (though he maybe thinks he is) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): I think you are doing very well in reassuring him. He is probably worried in case someone else was better than him, or just nervous of his first time. Keep reassuring him and he will probably get over it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): Well two months isn't very long! And it is his first time so he is more likely to be nervous. Give him some time, and tell him not to panic as that is the most likely to cause a problem over anything else! Reassure him, but don't pressurise. Let him call the shots. He doesn't need to put it off. If you tell him that you're not ready until he is, he won't feel under pressure, and therefore he will probably actually feel ready sooner.
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