A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I would like some opinion on what kind of interactions should be considered OK between Ex-es if they are both in other relationship already?Some back story: My gf and I has been together for almost 2 years now, we have a great relationship and cares for each other a lot. She was single for 2 years before meeting me. Before that, her last serious relationship lasted around 2 years.My gf is a very friendly person, so she keeps contact with almost all the guys she has dated before. I've met some of her guy friends... I have no problems with that. However, what annoys me is whenever her Ex comes into the picture, because from the looks of things, her ex is still not totally over her after almost 4 years... Just recently, he started to contact her again and asked her out for dinner, but some how it didn't go through. So now he asked her out to a baseball game just 2 of them... this really bothered me, because I think activities like this are better suited for couples, and also her Ex is already in another relationship too. So after hearing it, I told my gf my feelings, so now she is saying she'll just go to dinner with him instead.Am I just over reacting, or are stuff like this considered ok for "just friends"?
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male
reader, outthebox +, writes (29 September 2009):
Whenever I have engaged in those activities with my ex it was to get her back or get her into bed on the premise of just building a friendship. I would never go out with an ex while I was with someone and would expect the same. Let her know your expectations and that you find it inappropriate. Even if you trust her he may have other motives. I don't know how serious the relationship is but everyone I know with a successful relationship or marriage would find this very inappropriate
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): I guess you should tell her that how you really feel. That you do trust her but you don't trust the guy and you feel he may still be hooked on her. It's fine to have contact with friends but if he is still hooked on her, going out with him isn't going to fix that, and he will still only be hooked on her and may even try more than what is allowed. Sometimes the best thing you can do for ex's is to not contact them at all.
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A
male
reader, dyeruz  +, writes (28 September 2009):
She should consider your feeling too, maybe you might have over looked the going to dinner bit but for him to then ask her out to a game, that's another thing altogether.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would like to add that I completely trust my gf to not make any bad judgments. She always tells me that it doesn't matter what the other person thinks of her, it still takes 2 to make anything happen. However this whole situation still irks me.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 September 2009):
Well, she has a past like everyone else. But I have to say, to be going to dinner with an ex sounds a bit dangerous to me. Certianly he still fancies her, I can tell you that. What she feels is a bit more confusing I'm afraid. You did the right thing by speaking to her. All you can do is watch what happens. Don't be second best and don't allow yourself to be used.
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