A
female
age
41-50,
*pumie
writes:Am I normal or abnormal for feeling like this. I was dating this guy. While I was dating he had someone whom we were sharing him that woman was 5 yrs older than him and I was 2 years younger than him. As I was dating him that other got pregnant and I found out after the child was 1 year old since then I've never dreamed of a having a child of my own. I'm still with him but the thought of being pregnant with his child, it just kills me. I do love regardless what happened but I don't want to have a child with him. I don't have children an he has 2 from different woman. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 July 2012):
 Honey I know you think you love him and you want to be with him, but deep down you know that he is a liar and a cheat, you know it will not work out because you simply can not trust this man, that is why you don't want to settle down and have a child with him, deep down you are scared he will just do the same again, and the bottom line is he is selfish and a cheat and you deserve to be with someone who treats you so much better than that. Good luck.
A
female
reader, mpumie +, writes (6 July 2012):
mpumie is verified as being by the original poster of the question At that time, which was 3 years ago. Their separated because the other woman lied to him about keeping her other child a secret. At that time I was still on that relationship not knowing he was cheating on me with that woman. I forgave him because I love him even though we are together the feeling of having a child with him just kills me because of that betrayal of having a child with another woman behind my back while I was dating him.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (6 July 2012):
You are right not to want to have a child with this man and I am glad you feel like this, I hope you wake up to your senses soon and realise he is not the man for you. You can do so much better than sharing a man with some other woman, he is getting his cake and eating it. He does not love you, if he did then he would be committed to you, which he is not. He sounds like a player to me and someone who you should avoid completely.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2012): To your question, its natural for a woman to want a child, and to see other women who have them will make you broody. But you need to be clear on why you want one, if you want a child for you, or if you want one because you're jealous that the other woman has a child to the guy you love or that he has two children himself and you don't.
HOWEVER,
How can you love a guy and share him with another woman? Does he claim to love you? Because if he did he wouldn't want to be shared with another woman. You may love him, but I think the line should be drawn at feelings, which you can get over, and you are absolutely right to not want a child with this guy because he doesn't sound to me like the committed type.
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