A
female
age
36-40,
*onfuzzled_in_cville
writes:Am i complicating things? I recieve the message of love through pda and gifts. My boyfriend isn't interested. He's laxed about marriage and kids. I want to go to the next step. I know I'm loved but sometimes i don't feel it. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 March 2008):
 I think it is his addiction to the games and he finds other
things are not so fun.
He has settled into a routine and taken you for granted.
It is not easy to wean him of those video games.
You can try to make him see what are your needs and hope that
he can meet them.
All the best to you.
A
female
reader, confuzzled_in_cville +, writes (30 March 2008):
confuzzled_in_cville is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx for the feedback, i should talk to him, but everytime i talk to him about these things he gets defensive and angry, so i keep these thoughts to myself. I bought him an expensive gaming console for xmas, he wasn't as appreciative as i thought, but then again he got me the God Father dvd boxset... .; i politely asked him to return it and he did...angrily, and he didn't get anything for my bday or xmas. The vengeful person in me wants to not get him anything this year.
he doesn't want to do the things that i find romantic. All we do is sit around and play video games. No going out unless friends are around. he used to be so romantic years ago, now hes getting uber lazy.
i know hes strapped for cash, but he was years ago and he made me stuff. He knows i equate love through gifts and pda! he knows it. people think we're friends or family out in public. sometimes i feel used, sometimes i feel stupid and ignored. I don't want to be with anyone else, we did the open relationship thing and we can't trust each other completely since. I want this to last, lemme know what you think.
i tried breaking up with him in the past, and he took it hard...maybe its cause we are each others first relationships. idk...help!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (30 March 2008):
He may love you in his own way which you may not see it or understand .
The language of love is different in a man and woman.
Maybe , he need to learn to talk in your love language .
Or you try to understand his love language.
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A
male
reader, medic999  +, writes (30 March 2008):
I agree with Tanyas 247, you obviously deserve someone who appreciates you enough to sit down and talk with you and not only take the time to understand what you are saying but also suggest ways in which you can sort this out!
It's not pleasent for you because you don't know where you stand...you know you love him and you know you want to marry me and start a family but his priorities clearly seem to be elsewhere, possibly work or something else.
You need to sit down with him at yours and his convenience and tell him what you have told us, what you want from him and where you see yourselves - together- and look him straight in the eye while he returns an answer, see how genuine he is and whether he feels the same about you, you'll know if he doesn't....you will know..but i'm hoping for your sake (because you seem fantastic) that he tells he DOES indeed want to marry you at some point but maybe just not now, you never know unless you ask, maybe he just think's it's too early!!! :)
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A
female
reader, Tanyas247 +, writes (30 March 2008):
 Maybe it's not the "love" that you're not feeling. I think you might be realizing that this guy doesn't have the same priorities as you do, and that you don't feel your desires are something he considers. There might be another guy for you out there, so only stay with this one if he respects your desires and will talk to you about them. There is no perfect solution, but you DO deserve to be listened to and considered. Sometimes we are just better off with someone else.
Best,
T
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