Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): no, usually not. And there is really no reason to bring an Innocent child into the mix (in case things don't go as planned)
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 May 2008):
 What is the meaning of life if you do not want children?
It is very sad when you hear ,"Having children is a recipe for disaster."
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (22 May 2008):
Without a child, there is nothing to tie your partner down.
A child is like the fruit of your labour of love with him.
It could bring you closer .
Before, you were dealings with intangibles,
after a child is born , you have something tangible.
It is like a seal of your marriage.
If you plant love and have no fruit,
it will be like a barren tree and leaves no legacy.
I rather be an optimist than a pessimist.
Look at the brighter side of life.
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A
female
reader, gottascrewlose86  +, writes (22 May 2008):
 NO DONT DO IT!!!!! Having children is a recipie for disaster. Like all of the other aunts have been saying, a child is wonderful but brings a lot of stress into a relationship. You wont be able to spend as much alone time together as you will be busy careing for your newborn baby and dad will feel like he is being left out. Plus kids are A LOT of money. Thats going to become an issue in the relationship now. My parents used to fight all the time over money because I was sick as a child and cost a lot of money in medical bills and such. They never seperated but they are not close either. They would fight all the time on whos paycheck would pay for me. It put lots of strain on me as well. Fighting is noo good for a baby or small child to hear.
Overall I think you should wait till your older and make sure you are in a stable relationship that can withstand all the stresses of having a child.
Good Luck=)
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A
female
reader, lotsofgiggles123 +, writes (21 May 2008):
 i have to say well it matters the type of person that person is or you well but i think it would be kinda wrong to bring a kid in the world just so you be closer to someone hope dis helps oh yes if the person if all nice and stuff sure but if the person is mean maybe ok i hope dis does help.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 i'd say having a child probably dirves you more apart as you never get any time togehter or any time alone.
buy a puppy
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A
female
reader, vampyreholic +, writes (21 May 2008):
Having a child is a lot of hard work whether you are in a relationship or not, especially at the beginning when you're both getting used to the constant feeding, nappy changing and crying that you will endure. It can put a strain on even the strongest relationship but if you have a child for the sole purpose of getting a relationship back on track, then no, it won't bring you closer. Ultimately it will tear you apart. If you are already in a loving and happy relationship then chances are yes it will make you closer because you will have a wonderful bond that no one else will have, a bond with a child you both created.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (21 May 2008):
 It gives you a common bond and having a child in a loving committed relationship has many rewarding times where you will feel closer but it is also hard work, demanding on your time and can make you scream and shout at each other too and you will not always see eye to eye on everything. If you are not in a very good relationship to start with but think it will make you closer I doubt it would it would probably tear you apart x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): I think all of the above are very true only in as far as your relationships is not solid to begin with.
Yes, children are a handful but there have been many many loving families who remain united even after their kids leave the nest.
I think if ur having kids it must be for the right reasons - if ur trying to save your relationship then no by absolutely no means is having kids the solution it will wreck your relationship and tear it to bits - that is if you're already having problems. If you can overcome the problems and if you're love is strong enough there is no reason why it shouldn't work.
But otherwise you need to work on your relarionship and be sure that everything falls into your family planning or that the direction in which you are going is what you both want.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (21 May 2008):
 In a word NO........Children are a wonderfull gift, but extremely hard work. If your relationship isnt strong I would'nt advise you to have any. Its an enormous strain on both parties, even if you are close, so you can imagine what its like with a screaming baby as well.
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A
female
reader, CinnamonSpice +, writes (21 May 2008):
 Hi there, in my own experience, I would say not really. Sorry to put a dampener on things, but sometimes having a child can push a couple further apart rather than closer together. Sometimes the new dad can feel left out or pushed away because the new mum feels more connected with the new baby - it's easier for mums to form a bond with their newborn baby, but its a good idea for the dad to spend as much time as possible with their baby & partner to form a family bond between you all. Also, its a good idea to spend quality time together as partners than as a family unit to keep the spark there & the relationship alive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): Having a child is like going through a natural disaster. If your relationship can survive it, you both will be closer than before. But many relationships don't make it and if that happens then you would end up a single mother. Children are not a way to save a relationship.
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A
female
reader, shellycammon +, writes (21 May 2008):
YES AND NO! if you are having a baby with him because you love him and you planned it then yes it will bring you closer even though you will probably not see eye to eye on all parenting issues it will make you closer. if you are having it by "mistake" or just to save the relationship then no it will put an even bigger strain on your relationship and it probably wont make anything better and you will probably grow further apart.
xoxo
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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: