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Am I cheap person or have misunderstood his actions? Is he just using me for sex?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 September 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 September 2007)
A female Macedonia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Am i cheap person or have misunderstood his actions?dear aunts, here is my problem. Im with this boy for almost 5 months,we have fun and everything.Im not so materialistic girl, but cannot understand why he bought me a cheap present and not even something i like or prefer.Im i regarded as being a cheap person?He has been in my home, has seen what things i like,and that i do not wear earing almost never especialy not cheap ones! When we speak he usualy speaks about HIS plans in fuure, never asking about mine..and that happens only if I ask such question, otherwise he seems completely uninterested about sharing his thoughts with me.Is he just using me for sex and company or what? How can i found out? And how to show him, that i do not like his cheap presents!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for anwering. I was just wondering if may be given info about the author name of the book "the rules" would like to read it.The issue is not just wothinesss of the present, but his action of buying me something that i just do not Prefer9i do not wear earings almost never), even if they were diamonds would hardly make it better. The thing is i m not a kind of girl in a mood for playing games of "hot+cold", nor have time , nor willigness for it.

I love him but guess is not the reciprocal, ive read somewhere that Love always produses love, but can be only my Love enough for both?What you think

Thanks again for anwering

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007):

I'm sorry to say it, but it's in the early stages of a relationship that people are on their best behaviour. If he's not trying to impress you 5 months into your relationship, imagine what he'll be like in 5 years!

What I'd suggest, if you do really want this guy, is start playing a little hard to get. Go and get the book "The Rules" - it's really good in that it teaches you to get him working to impress you rather than taking you for granted.

Alternatively, if you want to deal with it head on, ask him why he bought you that gift - he may have genuinely thought they were 'nice' & not realised that quality is important when it comes to ear-rings (guys are a bit thick in that regard). But if he can't come up with anything, tell him that you're worth more than cheap gifts. It's not even about the money, it's about him taking the time to think of something you'd like - even if he hand-made it! If he can't do that, then let him know you're not too impressed with his form!

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