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female
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*inky
writes: Hi,I had met a wonderful guy from internet, we date once, on the whole it was nice, he's a gentle and caring guy, I shall say he is a potential guy that I'm longing for...as I'm a abit shy towards new friend, most of the time he talked and I just listen, he shared with me about his career, family, friends and hobbies etc..and he told me he is planning to get a new house of his own, sounds like he wish to settle down asap!After the dinner he sent me home and dropped me a msg thanks me for meeting him for the dinner.The next day he called me and we chat for a while, as usual, he talked most, after that night, no call/msg from him for 3 days so I called him, he sounds happy to receive my call, I can sense that he sounds lazy or tired whilst I talked to him ofcourse he was polite as usual, he called me again one week later, this time I tried to be relax and talked more, we had a good time sharing IT knowledge, before he ended the call, he asked me whether am I available to meet up the following week for dinner, he promised to call again to fix the date but 3 days passed, no call from him at all, probably he was too busy, he told me this week it would a crazy week...Could anyone please "enlighten" me, I'm confuse am I being to "cold" towards him that make him hestiate, to be frank, I'm poor in handling guy, I have no confident to hold a man heart due to my unlucky encountered with guys somehow I'm trying to protect myself from being get hurt, bascially I don't easily trust guys anymore, thus, I would hide my feeling even I'm interested...sad!!Lousy girl,Thank you
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  + ♥, writes (16 June 2009):
 Hi Kinky, I wouldn't be so quick to judge that he's the potential guy you are looking for because you've only had one date with him. Also, just because he's buying a house doesn't necessarily mean he's ready to settle down- some people buy houses because apartment living is annoying and a house is just simply a better investment. You may find it hard to trust guys because you do seem to assume a lot and then probably get disappointed when you find out that what you assumed isn't exactly the case. You are also putting a lot of emphasis and emotional energy into someone you don't know- often that will set you up for disappointment.
He may be busy, you may not be the only woman he's dating, or he may be someone that you can't count on to do what he says he's going to do. You don't know him well enough yet to take anything personally- dating is a process where you carefully observe the words and actions of the guy before you even decide whether he's someone YOU want in your life or if he has potential- often this takes a couple of months, not one date and a few conversations.
If you want to be smart and protect yourself from being hurt or manipulated, date a few different guys and get to know them slowly and then decide which one you like the most and that treats you the best. Be proactive and not reactive- right now you are in a passive position hoping this one guy you met will like you enough and giving him too much power over your emotions. Not the way to go. If one guy makes you insecure and doesn't follow through, then you won't have any problem cutting him out and focusing on the other men that value your time so you stay confident and secure, not in "waiting" mode or wondering what's wrong with you because one person you barely know isn't calling when they said they would.
These are just some suggestions that may help you with the dating process and make it enjoyable instead of letting it lower your self esteem. Good luck!
A
female
reader, shania  + ♥, writes (16 June 2009):
 Im taking a wild guess here because i dont know what this guy is thinking but i really dont think he's that into you.The reason i think that is he's not consistent enough. He says one thing then does another. If i was you i would stop all contact with this chap and start meeting new people...get out and see the real world instead of relying on the internet for blokes, because if he was really keen on you then he would of being rushing for another date...not making excuses.
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