A
male
age
36-40,
*itroushaze
writes:I hate not being the bread winner in the relationship. I used to be in the military, and now I am broke while going back to school. I have a loving girlfriend of a year who encourages my studies and wants me to succeed. But now I have a job offer to another state due to my skills from the armed forces that will make me more money than I would be making if I were to graduate.The thing is, she won't be able to come with me for another year due to her current job. I am just afraid of so much. And I do not know if I should stay and just finish school so that I can stay close to her, or do the job, move, and hope the long distance relationship will work. One thing is for sure, I do not want to lose her. And I feel if I leave there is a strong chance that I might. I have been in a long distance relationship before, and in the end we both ended up being totally different. I guess I have so much doubts and I hate to find the one and then leave. But as a man, I need to be able to provide for her AND myself. I hate going month to month from pay from the military. My main question is, am I being selfish if I take this job? Moving, making money, but sacrificing a little bit of our relationship in the process as well.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): Your ideal is to make enough money to support her, but mailing her check every so often isn't really support.If she is supporting you through school now, it is probably your prescence that she finds supportive. That is the highest compliment.Perhaps you find it a bit emasculating to have to rely financially on a woman, but you are genuinely lucky to find someone who encourages and supports you as you try to build a career. If you you were to leave now for this job, she will probably feel used.Do the immediate benefits of the job really outweight the longterm benefits of finishing school? Perhaps you would make more money in the short-term, but would have more flexibility if you lost the job? Or even ability to climb the heirarchy at the new job without a degree? I would finish school. Being alone with your money won't make you happy. She sounds great and I wouldn't risk losing her.
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