A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My question is simple. Am I being paranoid? I've been seeing my boyfriend for about 8 months now and have always know he has been friends with his ex girlfriend. I've met her three times and always made the effort to chat to her and get on with her because I know that would make my boyfriend happy, but I get feel that she doesn't really like me ( the conversations with her are like pulling teeth). any-ways I never really worried about the ' ex being really good mates with my boyfriend' since she lived in a different county 3 hours away, however I have recently learned that she is moving back to the area, and my boyfriend will obviously be seeing a lot more of her.They broke up about a year before me and him got together and remain very good friends, she rings him at least twice a week. He says they're just good friends, that he loves me and not to worry, and I trust him. its just her I don't trust.Do I really have a reason to be paranoid or am i just being jealous?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): I don't think you are being paranoid. I think your feelings are understandable, and to be perfectly honest, if I was in your situation I know I would be feeling the same way.
However, it sounds like your boyfriend has tried to reassure you of his feelings for you. And you say you trust him, which is great. You just don't trust her. Again, I think that is understandable if you have tried to be friendly towards her, but received a negative feeling back from her.
I think communication with your boyfriend will be very important while you feel this way. Keep explaining your concerns to him, so he knows how you are feeling. Hopefully, he will be able to put your mind at ease more. Other than that, I don't think there is much else you can do apart from to try and trust him. I know you may not trust his ex, but no matter what she may be like or what you fear she may try and do, nothing will happen if your boyfriend does not allow it to. And from what you have said, it sounds like he only wants to be with you. So keep going, keep seeking reassurance from him if you need it, and try to focus on the love between you and your boyfriend, rather than on your fears. Good luck. x
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