A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I cheated on my boyfriend a few months ago shortly after starting uni, I told him almost immediately and we are working through it. My boyfriend seems to be handling it a lot better than me, he's already pretty much forgiven me, he says 'the worst part about the whole thing was watching the agony in your face as you told me'.I still feel incredibly guilty for disrespecting him like that, sometimes it keeps me awake at night. I just need to know, am I always going to feel like this? I have a constant nagging pain of guilt, will it get less and less over time? Will I ever be able to forgive myself? I'm worried my guilt will ruin the relationship as it often makes me distant and moody. Please help.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 January 2010):
To be able to forgive something, you have to understand something first. Why was it that you cheated? Ask yourself that, find the answer. Was it because you'd just gone to uni and you just rebelled a little? Or did you feel lost? Your boyfriend is working through it, and given that he said the worst thing was watching you admit it, then he is certainly working through it. Understand why you did it, then you'll be able to move forward.
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (14 January 2010):
 tell your boy friend how you feel maybe he will have some kind words to ease your woes, hes probably just glad you just cheated and didnt dump him lol i would have just dropped you off at the other guys place and told him shes all yours. look if your bf forgave you then whats the biggie its not like your maried thats the whole point of being your age so you can test the waters a bit, so your a cheater theres worst things to be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): yes you will.
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A
female
reader, LaPointe  +, writes (14 January 2010):
Forgiving yourself is a choice, it's not just something that happens. You make the choice to forgive yourself, to put it behind you, and try to move on. You can do that any time you want. You have a chance to keep your relationship, and there is no need for you to punish yourself by losing it or by feeling unnecessarily guilty. Forgive yourself now.
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