A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:HiyaMy friends and I have a really good fun friendship. But most of them love to go out partying. They spend ridiculous amounts of money on drink and new outfits and getting into expensive clubs. They often stand out side clubs for 2 hours before just to get in early. I like to go out every now and then, but they go out ALL the time! I often find my self making up excuses as a reason why I can't go out with them. Does this mean that I don't love them? And that I'm not a true friend? I think they suspect something now though...Also... another point kinda related. When they all get together and take loads of photos, or have a really fun time together, I get really jealous and wish I'd went. I'm really confused.Can anyone decipher my mess of a question and try to help me work it out?
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reader, GLforever +, writes (20 April 2006):
 You shouldn't feel bad about not joining your friends on ALL their outings. I faced a similar situation in my early twenties. I allowed my friends to drag me along with them to various bars and strip clubs (yuck!) even though I knew I didn't really want to go. I didn't like it then, and now I regret my weakness back then.Most people tire of the drinking and clubbing lifestyle after a while. Be strong. Perhaps in the not so distant future your friends will take up some new activities.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2006): Obviously your friends are important to you if you're even asking this question. You're not a bad friend just because your interests differ. Don't make up excuses as to why you don't want to go out, just tell them flat out that you just don't feel like it that night, but assure them that you still want to go out with them again. You don't have to go out and party and drink every night if you don't want to. You can go out with them on the occasions you do feel like it and I'm sure you'll have a great time. Some people like that scene every night. And it just isn't for others.
As for the feeling jealous when they have pictures of fun times you didn't join in on, that's completely understandable. But you know that if you were to go out all the time with them you'd be the one in the photos not looking so happy. Don't wear yourself out and spend all your money if that's not what you want to do. Your friends should understand that.
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