A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was in a three-month sexual and romantic relationship with a guy i thought was single. He called me his girlfriend. Out of the blue, a woman contacts me online saying that she is his long distance girlfriend of 1.5 years. (He had kept this secret from me, and I never suspected a thing.) She was angry but wanted to keep him anyway. I dumped him. Bitter, he said he was fine with that because I was a "mistake" and he's going to work on his long distance relationship. He said he's cutting me out of his life at her request; says we can't be friends.Well, I know I should probably leave them alone. But I want him. We love each other, and that's a truth. What do I do to get him back without causing suffering?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): I can tell from your question that you think this is a competition, that he is some sort of prize and that he wants you instead of her because he did not have sex with her, but with you.
Get it through your brain that he had sex with you because you let him while holding onto another relationship that he thought you would never know about, this is dishonest to both women. This is a big RED FLAG if you are interested in a romantic love relationship, he isnt going to be trustworthy.
If all you are interested in is taking this man from another woman who lives some where else so that you can have sex with him....then it would be like for her a one legged chicken fight.....sure you can get him to bed you down again.....game over.....you suceeded in breaking them up......and you get to be the next woman he sleeps with as he keeps his options open for the next one and the next one.....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): I am confused. He has a long distance relationship that he wants to work on, he thinks you were a mistake, meaning he feels he should never have cheated on his long distance lover to begin with whether it be emotionally or physically.
If he is committed to someone else and had sex with you then he cheated on BOTH of you. Just because he may not have been having sex with you and then with her in the span of a few months it is still cheating on you with her and cheating on her with you....he lied to both of you.
You thought he was single, his girlfriend thought that he was committed and sexually exclusive with her meaning he would not have sex with anyone other than her or have an emotional relationship with anyone but her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFrom the original poster: he never cheated on me with HER. He hasn't seen her in over a year! Do you think he's calling me a mistake because I dumped him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): I think his girlfriend did you a favor. She called his bluff and contacted you knowing that he had not told you about her.....It is not cool to start one relationship without ending the other.
You want him and you love each other? I agree, he doesn't love you at all, he called you a mistake because you dumped him first. He knows what he did is unforgiveable so he is putting the blame on you because he doesnt have any character.....you dumped HIM, how dare you? He is such a PRIZE. NOT!!!
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